We Don't Belong
by Alex is Bills Kleiner Android
Summary: Alex and Collette are brilliant and they live in a research facility for the Gifted Insane. Tokio Hotel finds out and they are horrified. they fall in love but can they show the girls that life outside isn't as bad as it used to be? Bill and Tom Kaulitz
1. prologue

We Don't Belong

Prologue

**Summary:** Alex and Collette live in a research facility because of their exceptional brain power. Tokio Hotel finds out about the girls and they're horrified. They want to save them but they don't see that the facility is they're refuge. What else don't they see? They don't recognize the darkness that both girls hide. With brilliance comes insanity. Alex's former life almost killed her. Is Bill in time to save her from herself?

**Setting: **Just outside of Hamburg, Germany in a facility called 'The international Research Facility for Gifted Insanity'. The Facility contains the brightest minds of our times. These kids our taught, nurtured and loved. This isn't as much as it may seem a jail to keep them in this place is a refuge for people who were never accepted by the world. Each child has millions invested into them their every whim is granted and they are loved and that's what they love.

**Main Characters: **

_Alex_- 13 year old girl. Mahogany hair that is naturally spiraled. Fantastic eyes that are shardded and contain the colors yellow, brown, blue, and mostly green. She is an all around gifted which means she can do math, science, English, sports, fashion, art, social studies, you name it she can do it and do it well. Unfortunately with genius comes insanity Alex is living at the facility after running away from a school that emotionally tortured her and nearly broke her tremendous spirit. Alex is brilliant, random, passionate, and can sometimes be an air head.

_Collette_- 12 year old girl. Light brown hair that is usually streaked black and red. Her eyes are gentle they are blue green and brown but the colors swirl and mix. She is also an all around gifted. She was Alex's best friend and though from a different school she followed Alex to the facility and loves it there. Collette is clumsy, quiet, random, brilliant and fickle.

**Okay here is the beginning comment and tell me if you think I should continue.**

_**Alex**_

I stood in my room dressed only in a simple night gown it was brilliant purple and silk it was strapped and fit to my body. I looked in the mirror and a face looked at me. Not a face _my _face I reminded myself. It was still hard to register that too many years of that same face looking back at me when I was blinded and saw what **they** wanted me to; a girl, not pretty nothing special. **They **had taught me hate self hatred and just hatred to them and to the world. I looked at my pale face. I was only thirteen but I could easily pass for seventeen and I had often caught lots of older guys but none had actually wanted me. I looked up to where I knew the invisible windows were. I knew they would be watching me. They always were because I was dangerous to myself mostly. My mind may have broken but I still had that part of me that didn't want to hurt another human well most other humans. I looked into my face and looked into the eyes that gave a thirteen year old the attitude to make people believe she's seventeen the candy coated pain and mystery rapped horror. I saw the mystery that made people want to have me but I knew that it wasn't pleasant it was the insanity that I fought every day. I knew the secret was coming out today with the technology to look into my mind they would see the horrors inside. So why was I letting them you may wonder but the answers simple, because I'm a scientist and these people give me anything I want they gave me a place where I'm accepted and they asked they of course could do it with out consent but they had asked. I looked away from the mirror around my room. Deep red and royal purple heavy gothic architecture and a bay window it was perfect for me. I looked out to the forest and planes I could see from my window it was beautiful. So why do you want to stay? Is probably what your wondering why be a lab rat when you could be a famous scientist outside? This is one question about my mind I can answer its simple, I may be a prodigy but I still have a heart, the world scorns me they have no reason to disown me but they do. This facility is my refuge, I am appreciated here it's really that simple. I have can have personal tutors and coaches because I'm a prodigy not a genius I'm here because I'm exceptionally good at everything not impossibly great at one thing. So why am I discontented because there I s no Bill Kaulitz, there is no one true love here for me. I know girls say they love their favorite singers but would they give everything would they give up their sanity to make him happy? No, I think not especially not when they have been where I am and know exactly what insanity means. Was there anyway I could ever have him? No of course not he wouldn't love me they never really did.

_**Collette**_

I heard Alex pounding on my door. I looked up from my floor where I was arranging my scissor collection. The room was made of what looked like heavy stone, cast iron furniture and heavy black cloth it was my paradise.

"Come in" I called. Alex ran in and waved her laptop at me.

"LOOK!" I took it and set it down carefully. I saw the screen 'Tokio Hotel comes to Hamburg' my eyes widened.

"Do you think they would let us go?"

"I have no idea," she said.

"Are you ready?" I asked on a more serious note.

"Yes, it doesn't really bother me thinking about them looking in my head."

"I'm not really sure about it," I told her she shrugged giving me the 'it's you choice' look.

"Let's get breakfast," she suggested.

"Let me find my clothes" I told her. She was in her Alice and Wonderland outfit all blue gray and Cheshire cats. Her shirt and skirt both said 'where all mad', she loved the Cheshire cat with its evilly happy grin and huge eyes. I decided to were my black and red Alice in Wonderland out fit that said 'off with there heads' and was the queen of hearts.

"WHAT! Where'd you leave your clothes?"

"Oh my gosh Alex shut up!" She just kept laughing. We ran out of the room down the hall into the cafeteria crashing into several chairs and such on our way.

"Hello Alex, Collette," the servers said without looking up. We were the only people in the place who made such a racket.


	2. trancedant reality

We Don't Belong 1

Transcendent reality

**Dr. L**

The girls finished breakfast and came to the lab. I was so excited that I was finally going to be able to use my machine to look into their minds. They both looked fine neither looked nervous.

"Good morning Dr. L" they said in unison and laughed.

"Hello, you guys are ready?" they nodded, "Do you understand the procedure? We attach this equipment to your body and I will see in my mind the way things flow in yours, you won't feel it so you can read or text or do whatever you want as long as you stay relatively still." Again they nodded and settled into their chairs, they were used to experiments. I was so exited I'd seen the minds of normal people serial killers, schizophrenics, genius, I have seen math dance words twirl music and art create itself in the mind of the best but never had I looked into the mind of my multi gifted prodigies. First I looked into Collette's mind it took me a moment to adjust. It was so much faster than any other mind I had seen. The connections beings made spanned several information pools each considerably larger than normal. Where most minds had like a high way that connected the different functions Collette's mind was like a control center that had its reach to the entire place. How did her mind work so fast I wondered in amazement as I watched video flashes link to memories to music. Then I saw it, it looked like oil on the mechanism of her mind then I realized it was the insanity the darkness it shone darkly putting its own thoughts into hers. I left her mind and slipped into Alex's I was instantly lost. I was disoriented and dizzy as I sped through the confines of her mind it went only a little faster than Collette's but the connections were deeper there was more and there was way too much going on. Her memories were not on slid show like Collette's but they formed a wall around everything swirling slightly occasionally one seen or another would light up. I heard so much music kinds already made and tunes forming themselves I saw words constructing and destructing sentences and stories art flowing through it fantastic pictures. Random facts coming from the surface from the astoundingly deep well of knowledge in her mind intermixed with the rest I couldn't believe the way it worked how could one person have so many thought trains at once and still function? Then I saw in the wall what looked kind of like a mind door you usually find them when people have long ago buried memories, what was it I wondered and looked through it. I saw green fields, castles, dragons, magicians, princes, everything from a romance fantasy was this the door to her imagination I wondered. Then I saw the darkness the evil it was outside the memories and I realized why she had a wall in her mind because that was new to me. It was a darkness of a degree I hadn't seen in a long time. It was a different type it was feed by pain not by a chemical misbalance. It disturbed me but the most surprising thing I saw was love. The love she held for that Bill Kaulitz, the singer of her favorite band I saw it was the weak point in her armor it was going to be her undoing. I had to change that I left their minds released them to freedom and went to see what I could do.

**Alex**

I sat in my bedroom thinking about earlier today. He must have seen the darkness he had been thinking so hard but he hadn't seen the transcendence of my mind. He hadn't seen the way I have two consciousnesses in my head and to bodies each in a different time. I may be crazy but not delusional I have evidence to support my claims. When I sleep my mind goes to my other body you might call it. That word was my escape for so long, it's a land called Xiner I'm a princess, its insane I always thought it was a fantasy until one day in Xiner I fell asleep with a necklace on and when I woke up on my bed on earth it was still there and trust me it was quite obviously a Xiner necklace. It was solid silver jammed with amethysts and ornate I couldn't afford jewels like that on earth. I lay down on my bed and eagerly closed my eyes, there may be no Bill Kaulitz in Xiner but there is Emlyn Zander Nevermore who is crazily identical to Bill Kaulitz in almost everyway. He also just happens to be mine. I let the darkness of the night drift into my mind. I opened my eyes I looked into a deep purple canopy. I stood and walked over to the mirror my long silk night gown slid over my body. I looked into my own brilliant purple eyes. The darkness of my hair contrasting with the whiteness of my skin as the sun began to rise in the distance. I turned to see Emlyn still asleep on the bed. I smiled slightly and rung for breakfast. I heard his nearly silent footsteps and I spun so I was facing him as he caught me in his arms.

"Yeesh, always one step ahead of me." He complained sarcastically.

"You may be quiet as a cat, my love but I can hear a pin drop."

"I know, but I shall never stop trying" he said valiantly running his hands up my arms, deep blue light leaked from his fingers and over my skin I smiled and kissed his lips leaving a deep lightly glowing amethyst mark behind. I heard the maid outside the door and opened it. She handed me the tray. I bid her good day and went to the chairs by the table in the corner. We laughed as we ate. Today looked to be an easy day in Xiner, I looked around; it was perfect here but in a different way. My personalities are not identical sometimes they aren't even similar.


	3. first sight

We Don't Belong 2

First sight

**Bill**

I was looking down blankly at the empty word document in front of me. I drummed my fingers on the keyboard producing a stream of nonsense. I was supposed to be writing a new song but my mind was completely empty. I groaned and got up to go see if this plane had any coffee it was a private jet right? Jost looked up as I wandered over, he knew me so well, I thought as he pointed to the coffee machine across the room.

"Hey," he called as I went after the coffee. "I need you to get the rest of the guys for me; I got a special fan request."

"Sure," I muttered I cared more about the coffee right now. I walked back into the area where I had been sitting.

"You look amazing sunshine," Tom said smirking, I flicked him off.

"Jost wants to talk to us asap." I said and turned around and walked back sitting ion toms favorite chair next to Jost. Tom glared at me and sat on the couch next to Gustav.

"Okay, boys here's the deal. We got a call from the head of some fancy human study science lab. He says he's got a few girls in the facility, that can't leave to see you play, but they would really appreciate it if you went to see them."

"Wait… these girls live in a science facility as in they are the experiments!" I exclaimed I couldn't believe someone would lock people up for no reason.

"What's wrong with them that they can't leave?" tom asked his mind obviously not on the same page as mine.

"To answer both your questions, there is nothing wrong with them and they live there by choice, from what I got as a rundown they are there for their own protection, they are 'gifted' or super smart," he said to our blank looks, "and people tend to outcast them and they want them to use their brains not hide them because people mistreat them."

"I say we go," I said I wanted to see this place. I couldn't imagine someone wanting to live in a science building.

**Alex**

There was pounding on my door. My eye lid fluttered open, the remnants of a ball still imposed on my eyelids but like a dream they slipped away till I couldn't recall it anymore.

"JIMMINY CRICKETS! I'll be right there!" I jumped out of bed my feet hitting the icy floor I didn't even flinch. I swung the door open to reveal Collette. I looked at the clock it was eight am. "Collette what the hell is so important you had to wake me up at this hour!"

Collette shrugged. "Dr. L said to be dressed and in the hall at nine because he's got a surprise for us. He said dress to our best." Collette who was still in her pajamas looked down "I have to go get dressed." I shut the door and rolled my eyes.

"Now what on earth could this be?" I asked before shutting up because I was talking to myself which as often as I did it was not a good habit. I opened my closet and pulled down my favorite pair of pants. They were black flairs they had zippers, purple lace, studs, chains, skulls, and best of all they looked supper hot on me. I'm okay looking I'm not hit the floor gorgeous or anything and I am not skinny so I work my curves when I get the chance. I also pulled out my favorite top it was of course purple it had silver and graphic designs on it. The letters on it read 'You normal people scare me' it was of my own design I love to design clothes. I put on my black belt with purple and silver studs. I looked at my nails they were fine, purple tipped with black. I pulled on leather studded fingerless gloves. I looked in the mirror; my hair had actually decided to work today. I left it as it was only flattening my bangs across my face and putting anti-frizz and shine spray into my chaotic mahogany curls. I grabbed my studded choker and put on my black silver chains that fell from just below my collar to my belt. Then I did my makeup the foundation pulled the red out of my skin leaving me eerily white. Collette likes to say I'm blue I'm so pale I disagree but that gives you an idea. Carefully with my sparkling black eyeliner I framed my eyes and then I put on purple lipstick slipped on a few rings and my heavy boots with 3in platforms and buckles all the way up you can't see them under my pants but hey I don't care.

I walked to Collette's room and knocked before opening the door. She was dressed simply in jeans and a nightmare before Christmas shirt with a long-sleeved red shirt under that. She shook her head at me.

"You always are so much more humanoid! Its not fair you know that." I laughed and waited while she put on her black lipstick. She pulled her hair back leaving only the black streaks around her face. We walked to the visitors' room while I made my reply.

"That my friend is because, I am amazing!"

"Yea, of course Alex" she laughed and tripped so I laughed and succeeded in running into the door as I entered a room full of hot German stars and froze.

**Bill**

We were greeted at the door of the facility by a man who judging by his lab coat was obviously a scientist. I read the name of the institute printed above his head. One phrase caught my eye 'gifted insanity'. The man must have known what was worrying me because he laughed.

"Don't worry, they aren't insane just hyper and temperamental"

"Like my brother," Tom said, and I rolled my eyes at him. He lead us into a room with chairs and a table it looked like a hospitals waiting room. It made me jumpy. Then two girls walked in well one walked in and the other, the taller girl stumbled into the door way before bounding off it and looking up. I stared at her she was beautiful. Her clothes were all purple black, metal and leather, her hair was chaotic but controlled and her skin was so pale it seemed to have a hint of purple itself. Then I looked into her eyes which was one of the most important characteristics in a person and I was lost, her eyes were amazing deep green with shades of millions of colors ones I didn't even have names for slipped into the shards that made up her eyes but of course there was something else that lurked deep in her eyes behind the carefree happiness and the hidden pain that I recognized from my own face. I couldn't look at the other girl I could only notice the tall girl; I needed to know her name.

"What's your name?" Tom and I spoke at the same time. We must have been looking at different girls because they both spoke.

"Alex," said the tall, brunette, I still couldn't look away, id always believed in love at first sight and I think I just found it.

"Collette," the other girl spoke, Tom was already heading over to her.


	4. Who is she

We Don't Belong 3

Who is she?

**Tom**

I was looking at Collette, she was perfect, not the way I'd always graded girls perfect but somehow she was. She was short about 5'5 but she looked young. She had a simple outfit that wasn't by itself eye catching it showcased her modest frame, she wasn't curvy but she wasn't a twig either. Her face was pretty to. It wasn't drop dead gorgeous or plastic looking from too many surgeries it was normal an naturally pretty or it would have been normal if she wasn't wearing black lipstick and turquoise and brown eye shadow. Her hair was naturally light brown but around her face it had been died jet black lending an ethereal look to her lightly tanned face and swirling green-brown-blue eyes. I walked over to her.

"Hey cutie, vhy are you living here, girl like you could do better than that."

"I live here because people hear have brains and appreciate more than my body!"

"Ouch, it vas a compliment vhy you have to bite my head off!" I complained she smiled.

"Thanks! And anyway I know your record mister," she taunted playfully.

"VAT, you mean that you know that I'm amazing!" I said. She laughed.

"I mean I know that you are a player."

"OH vell them girls had nothing on you!"

"I highly doubt that," she said but didn't really seem to mind. I heard my brother laughing and I looked to see him helping the other girl up she was bright red. I looked at her she looked older than Collette.

"Hey someone forgot to invite us," a voice from the door made us all look around. Three girls stood there. Two tall, two blonde, and two really skinny, but no girl was all.

"Sorry" Collette spoke, "You guys, these our my friends, they know who you are even you Andreius" we all looked surprised that she recognized our friend but she went on, "That's Karrot," she pointed to a tall skinny brunette, "Allie," a short skinny blonde dressed in neon, "and Angela," she pointed to the last girl a tall blonde who had a nice figure.

"Okay, girls you know the rules go head show them around but don't interrupt anything. Collette, Bill, Alex, and I abandon everyone else as we walked down the hall.

"My room," Alex spoke as they came to a door that looked like all the others which looked like a hospital. She pushed open the door and I stared it was insane. The room looked like stone with a large bay window over looking a lake and forest I hadn't known was there. The walls were covered floor to ceiling with posters and her ceiling had been painted like a super nova in silver red and purple. All her furniture was gothic style with deep purple bed clothes.

"Okay Alex's room is boring lets go look at mine," Collette said and pulled me away I could easily have stopped but I didn't she threw open her door and all I saw was black for a moment. Then I realized there was a reason for that. Her floors wall and ceiling were all painted black she had heavy black curtains over her windows and all her furniture was cast iron. The entire room was decorated with scissors, skulls, lemurs, aye-ayes, octopuses with nine legs, and other random stuff. The lights in her room were led blue. I stepped closer to her realizing we were alone Bill and Alex must have stayed back in her room. I put my hand on her shoulder and she turned around I looked down on her perfect face.

"Even this player can see your worth more than your face," I told her seriously and bent down to kiss her.

**Bill**

Tom and Collette disappeared out of the room as I looked around. The room was chaotic yet organized it reminded me of Alex herself. I looked at the walls, there were Band posters right next to hand painted scenes, and self designed posters, she was obviously creative. I looked around I saw no identifiers no family pictures or year books nothing. I looked at the book sitting on the window sill it was in English and I sighed I can't read English.

"Alanna: The First Adventure its one of my favorites even if it's really easy."

"Where are you from?" I asked she spoke German fluently but she had an extremely mild accent I couldn't place.

"America, Michigan, to be precise."

"Oh, I never would have guessed, usually Americans have horrible accents." It really had surprised me.

"Yea I've lived in Germany for the last year so my old accent got eradicated quickly."

"I don't mean to pry but why don't you have pictures or anything, I mean you are really far from your family, don't you miss them?"

"No, I try to forget actually, I wasn't enough there, I wasn't who they wanted me to be, they couldn't see what was happening to me, so I left and I'm never going back, I… I can't." she wasn't looking at me she had her back turned. I could practically feel the pain roiling off her from where I stood. I couldn't understand why anyone would send her away; she was obviously smart, athletic, kind, and unique. I didn't understand it but I didn't need to I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her. "I'm sorry," she said shaking her head slightly.

"Don't be its okay to be sad." I looked down into her Brilliant eyes the emotion seemed to have turned up the color dial her eyes had gone from a deep and alluring almost hunter green to a brilliant jungle green. She stepped back after a moment, looking down and blushing she led me out of the room. We walked down a hall and I watched her. Was that why she was here? She didn't trust the human race after being treated that way by her own family and maybe her friends. She led me into a room that had about 10 athletic courts each of a different kind. I had no interest in sports and as such was completely lost. Then a girl bounded up, she was short had large chocolate brown eyes and deeply tan skin her black hair was pulled into a ponytail. She was wearing a t-shirt and shorts and was holding a basketball.

"Hey! Alex want to play," Alex looked at me and I nodded.

"Go head, this should be interesting," I said smiling I had seen how clumsy she was this might not end well.

"You my friend get to play jewelry stand." She told me before handing me all of her jewelry and her gloves. "Okay, Julie Shoes off, make this fairer."Alex set her boots next to me and the girl, Julie, set her tennis shoes next to them.

"Your Ball" Julie tossed Alex the ball and she went to the half court line.

"Clean game, no fouls, half court, loser's ball, no checks" Alex said, I was completely confused 'what the hell' I thought but shook it off as I watched I felt my eyes get wide. Alex off the floor was clumsy she fell and stumbled a lot but once she was on the court she was like lightning. She twisted and turned spun jumped and shot. She was okay with the ball in her hands though slightly akward but when the other girl had the ball she couldn't get past Alex, it was amazing to watch, Julie was faster but some how Alex always beat her to the ball. After about ten minutes they gave up at a stale mate of Zero-Zero alex bounded over to me her face glowing her breath was only slightly sped up and all the sadness from earlier was gone her face was flushed and her eyes were bright, I smiled and then she slipped her socks sliding on the tile I laughed and caught her before she landed on me.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly pulling her boots back on.

"That's okay," I said and looked at my cell, I had to go, "Alex I have to leave, but I'm in town for a few more days I'll come back as often as I can, and think about this," I paused before throwing caution to the wind, I was pretty sure I had just met the love of my life and I wasn't going to let her go with out a word. "When I leave, come with me,"

Her eyes widened, "As in live with you, leave the institute," her voice was nearly inaudible. I nodded and leaned over gently I pressed my lips to hers and waved as I walked out.


	5. forever

We Don't Belong 4

Forever

**Collette**

It was three days after the first day Tokio Hotel had showed up at the institute and Tom had asked me to go with him and I had agreed, on the basis that Alex came with us or with Bill. I was tossing the last of my stuff into my bags because I was 99.999 into infinity percent sure Alex would come. She was didn't trust the human race was practically terrified of Jocks but she would be more scared of losing Bill I was almost sure. I heard the door open and turned around as Tom walked in.

"So, you are coming?"

"What, I don't get a hello?" I said mock pouting.

"I'm sorry," he said giving me a hug. I kept pouting. "Ohh come on, I'm sorry alright!" he said.

"OKAY!"I said and bounded away tossing everything else helter-skelter into my bag. He shook his head, "Why on earth do I put up with you?" he asked

"Because I am amazing and you know it!" He laughed but agreed. "Okay I'm hungry, Come On!" I grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the cafeteria.

"You my dear are a demon in disguise!" I only laughed and chanted one of Alex's favorite quotes.

"Those who don't know me think I'm quiet those who do wish I was," Tom laughed.

"I thought Alex was the one who said random quotes?"

"Not anymore." We laughed and went back to my room after we were done eating. We sat and talked and listened to music. The door opened revealing Alex.

"Collette, I…"

**Alex**

I sat in my room everything was packed, but was I actually going to go. I wanted to go with Bill I loved him, I knew it already, but I didn't know if I could face the world again. I closed my eyes and memories flashed behind my lids, boys, muscled, laughing, teasing, then I remembered standing up pushing my way through the circle around me I could feel pine cones, stones, wall nuts what ever was at hand smacking me as I walked away. I saw my self in abstract a mirrors reflection curled on a bed eyeliner smeared down my face a report card in my hand A,A,A,A,A,A-. I could hear yelling saying how I should have worked harder how I could do better how I needed to stop complaining and get off my ass to help around the house, that I needed to be better because I couldn't do anything right. I remembered standing in my sister's house holding my nephew with my sister's voice wringing in my ears.

"You know you can tell me, I don't care if you're a lesbian," then me

"I'm not a lesbian, can't you just believe me!"

"If you didn't like that girl I would."

"Bill Kaulitz is not a girl!" I could hear the taunts and see the sneers I shook my head and ran to the door hoping Bill would be here soon; when he was there it was so much easier to forget. I opened the door right as Bill was about to nock. For a minute I just looked at him, he was an angel, my personal savior. Then because I really needed a hug right then I through my arms around him, he pulled me up I wrapped my legs around his waist and buried my head into his shoulder ignoring the icy metal from his jacket that pressed into my cheek. He let me down after a minute and I shut the door as we walked away. I had tried in the last three days to show Bill why I lived here it was beautiful but the thought of living behind walls permanently made his blood run cold. He gently held onto my hand like always giving me the chance to pull away if I wanted to but of course I didn't. I lead him out side through the gardens to a small alcove framed by weeping willows there was a bench and a small pool. This place was where I spent a large percent of my time. It was a haven there was nothing here to remind me of the world outside not even to remind me of Bill, because for a time I had wanted to forget him too but that was before he was mine before I met him and now I had to show him this place.

"It's beautiful," he said and I nodded. I looked around and I saw a squirrel.

"OMB a squirrel!" I cried. Bill cracked up laughing. He had yet to comment on my term 'OMB' for which I was glad not wanting to explain that I used his name instead of God's. Then I had a flash back off squirrels out side a class room window snow on the ground and teens mocking laughter around me. I shook my head to clear the sight but Bill had noticed.

"Love, it's over you know you are never going back, you don't have to." I nodded and put my head into his lap and let him stroke my hair. I felt the seconds going by and I knew I had to make a choice now or lose him forever. I sat up and he looked at me. He handed me a box. "I got this for you, I hope it will help you remember me if you stay, and if not it's a keep sake." I opened it. It was a black leather choker it had black silver chains falling from it only going down six inches or so. A large black silver heart sat in the center it was perfect then I saw there was writing on the edges and before I red it I saw that the words were printed larger inside 'Forever yours, Forever mine, Forever sacred, Forever together, Forever + always, Forever now' I put it on it accented my purple dress and black patent leather corset and purple and black tights. He stood up and started to walk away I knew in my heart if he left I would never see him again. Confusion, terror, and pain rose inside of me but just before he was out of sight I stood up.

"WAIT!" I ran over to him and grabbed his jacket. "I'm coming with you." His face light up and he nodded taking my hand tightly in his grip he led me inside to Collette's room I had to tell her I was going with them. "Collette, I am going with you guys." Her face lit up and she grabbed her bags and I grabbed mine our friends and the workers said bye. Finally I stood in front of the building by the car. I looked at Bill. "Bill, I'm scared."

"I know Love; I won't let anything hurt you I promise." I sat in the car with my head on his shoulder I stared out the window as I watched my haven the place that was my only home disappear behind me.


	6. To Soon

We Don't Belong 5

To soon

**Collette**

I looked at Alex as we left the building she was several shades paler then normal I hadn't known it was possible for her to get paler. I mean the girls so pale she's practically blue even though she spends hour's everyday out side. She rested her head on Bill's lap as we pulled out onto the street, that's the cool thing about dark windows against paparazzi no one can see inside. Alex sat up suddenly as usual she had completely pushed everything unpleasant from her mind.

"I want coffee!" she said into the silence.

"Me to" bill said. And the driver nodded and headed toward the shop. Alex looked out the window and her eyes got wide.

"A SQUIRREL!"

"A shiny squirrel!" I said taking the line Colista a.k.a. Angela would have taken.

"What button are you lookin' at?" we both bust out laughing while Bill und Tom looked at us like 'WTF'.

Before they could ask however Alex brought out another far more embarrassing joke, "Heaven is wrapped in chains,"

"NO!" I yelled and she buried her face in bills shirt to stifle her laughter.

"Were here," the driver said taking no notice in our antics. Bill stepped out of the car and automatically (HA!) reaching out to stop her from tripping as she got out of the car after him. She wound her fingers through his as they walked to the coffee shop. I went to follow them but tom grabbed me before I could move, not that I was complaining.

"What was Alex talking about, 'heaven is wrapped in chains'?" I blushed about seven hundred shades of red.

"Um, It is a joke from a long time ago referring to my um… sexual fantasies…" I mumbled.

"Well then baby, give me the word, he smirked and pulled into the coffee shop I let him my heart leaping in my chest. I stood next to him my mind racing through several delish ideas before I suddenly got distracted y the altercation in front of us. Some cheer looking bimbo and her jock of a boy friend had decided to mess with Alex this wasn't going to end well… for them.

**Alex**

I stood next to Bill at the counter having ordered my mint chocolate frappe I was leaning on Bill waiting for the server to come back when the girl behind me decided to be a bitch.

"Hey freak, I need to order get off your fag and move," I looked into the glass counter top and saw her reflection so I spoke without turning around.

"Look Mini, they have one worker weather or not I am standing here has no effect on weather you can order," I ran my hand through bills hair just to make the bitch mad.

"Well I'm in a hurry so move!"

"Okay look bitch, you ain't in L.A. anymore, keep talking and I'll give you a nose job for free."

"Don't talk to my girl friend like that!" the muscle head next to her spoke up.

"I will talk to her exactly how I want to because you can't stop me, muscle head," He swung at me. Huge mistake! I pushed Bill out of the way so he wouldn't get hurt and ducked under the morons swing, twisting to face him as I did so. I upper cut into his jaw and his head snapped back and I side kicked the girl because she looked like she had a mind to take me on she slid back into some tables and crashed to the ground. Bill was watching his eyes wide as the guy came at me again. He grabbed my arm in an attempt to dislocate it I swung in reverse so he ended up supporting my weight and back kicked him then pulled my knees up the combination of pain and weight made him fall. I rolled us over not wanting to get pinned and used his extra long hair to slam his head into the ground stunning him. I stood up and the security escorted the couple out. I looked shyly at Bill who was staring.

"Are you alright?"

"Jahh," I said and grabbed the drinks before sitting in the corner while Bill went after me.

Bill

I sat down next to Alex in the very back corner of the shop, I was still slightly in shock, I had promised Alex nothing would happen and I had managed to break that promise in under an hour, but who expects a guy to punch a girl in the middle of a coffee shop? I sat next to Alex she looked embarrassed but unhurt actually now that I though I hadn't seen him land a blow. I looked at her I noticed her sleeve was ripped on her elbow where he had grabbed her than I saw a maze work of scars there.

"What?" I said, not meaning to speak out loud. I grabbed her arm, the left has she ducked her head the red blush that naturally lived in her cheeks draining away. At first I thought it was a scar from her natural clumsiness then I realized that there were layers and layers of double lined scars I had taken for think scars and suddenly my synapses fired in a row and I got it these scars were from cutting. "Alex, no, no." I said over and over.

"Oh God, I'm sorry, that was a while ago," she said pain and terror; it really was terror rocked her voice she wouldn't look up. I saw she was right they were all scared over no fresh cuts. I reached out with my other hand and pulled her face up to look at her in the eye.

"How long?" I felt horrible pushing this but I needed to know.

"A month, I think." Her breath was shaking and I dropped her hand and cupped her face in both hands.

"Never again," I told her, she looked straight into my eyes.

"Never," she echoed I pressed my lips to hers. She kissed me back with a passion that surprised me, she tasted like chocolate and cool mint and something else that was just her I didn't want to ever let her go but then Tom was there telling us we had to go, I could have killed him right about then.

**A.N.- KK okay I had SUGAR and I hate preps so this is what you end up with. The inside jokes are real! Ha Collette I would soooooo say that. Yes that's right I spilled the whole chains/handcuffs in the bedroom! Alex loves everyone who reads, SO NOW REVIEW! The button is right there!**


	7. First Night

We Don't Belong 6

First Night

**Collette**

We actually managed to get to the air port with out being killed; from there we went to some city called Oberhousen **(sorry if I spelled that wrong)**. From there we went to the hotel also with out paparazzi or fans, Bill und Tom looked miffed, they apparently hadn't had this easy of a time in forever. The sun was setting outside as we went to our hotel rooms I followed Tom into his for our first time completely alone without surveillance. he put his bags in a corner and I sat on the couch setting the bag by the door he moved it into the bed room, I figured if he wanted it not to be in the way he would move it, I was right. I got up and wondered into the bedroom after him. I shut the door behind me and he turned as soon as he heard it click. He smirked at me and I smiled, he was fucking sexy and he knew it. He held up two pairs of hand cuffs.

"You said chains right?" I clapped my hands happily. He laughed. "But first I want to go sit in the hot tub." I looked confused and he laughed more, "Baby, its cold outside." I got it and doubled over laughing. I grabbed my swimsuit and towel, and ran into the bathroom to change, I didn't care if he saw me undressed it was just a habit. I came out and I was still laughing. He was in his swim trunks and he locked the door behind us I was still chortling.

"Sorry but its funny!" he looked disgruntled.

"It is so not funny!"

"IS SOO!" he pushed me angrily but not hard he wasn't trying to hurt me, just make a point. Unfortunately for him (fortunately for me) I have no balance so I toppled over, right down the stairs. I landed at the bottom and looked up at him grinning, who would have thought I would get an accidentally abusive boyfriend fun! He looked horrified/scared. He ran down the stairs, he was about to see if I was okay when I spoke up.

"Can you do that again?" he looked at me confused, I chortled, "unfortunently humans don't come with fine print." Okay maybe not the best way for him to find out about my entire masochistic side. He shook his head and just kept walking toward the pool.

**Alex  
**

I sat on the hotel bed watching bill toss his bags on the ground and dig through them searching for something. After a while he gave up and sat next to me. I rested my head on his shoulder and there was a short pause before Bill opened his mouth to speak and I knew what about it wasn't exactly complicated we were a new couple sitting in a bedroom alone, he wanted to say what his boundaries where and figure out what mine are.

"Alex, I am not my brother," I laughed at that.

"I know that love, and I really wasn't expecting nor wanting things to be different," I looked at him seriously, "I am not Collette; I'm not going to go and sleep with my boyfriend just because there are not any cameras. I am not like that and I know you aren't if I wanted a guy to slepp with I wouldn't have picked a virgin like myself." He just stared at me.

"You are?" I laughed my self stupid.

"I lived in an institution since I was twelve with camera surveillance 24/7; I've never had a Bf besides you." I didn't add that I'd only lived in the institute for a year and a half, I wasn't going to scare him away.

"Ohh."

"Yea" there was a silence then I spoke, "Bill, I don't expect anything out of you other than that you be yourself." And I got up I needed to find my pajamas. I changed in the bathroom and when I emerged Bill had divulged himself of his t-shirt and jewelry and shoes. I stood before him for a moment and he stared into my face I realized this was the first time he had seen me without my makeup. I shifted nervously.

"Don't be nervous like you said all I expect is that you be who you are."

"In that case" I said, "How on earth are you going to sleep in skinny jeans they are not that comfortable." His expression made it clear what he was thinking, so I answered it, "I am not so dumb that I don't know that boys/men sleep in boxers or the nude" he smiled as I made my slash mark, I smiled back its one of my quirks, I talk with my hands and I do things like say question mark or dot, dot, dot, it usual makes people stare but Bills seems to think its cute. He slipped the jeans off and I looked at him admiring his body, I looked into his face he looked different with out make up but still perfect just different, my eyes followed the line of his body taking in the light muscles and the black ink on his white skin. He looked uncomfortable so I smiled. "Your perfect" he just shook his head and laid down beside me pulling me closer.

**Tom**

We made it back to the room and I saw a large bruise spreading across one shoulder. I brushed my fingers over it and she smiled at me, it hadn't bothered me when she made reference to S&M but I couldn't believe she was happy I had pushed her down a flight of stairs.

"Collette, baby I'-" she cut me off with a finger to my lips. Her eyes where glinting playfully.

"look stop apologizing for something that made me happy and come have some fun" she said and I couldn't help it I gave in. I pushed her into the bedroom and shut the door fast behind us. I picked her up easily and tossed her onto the bed. I leaned over her fastening her hands over her head. I had no idea how many times she had done this before so I decided not to be too hard on her, maybe. I slid the bikini off her body and left her there for a minute to strip myself. I got back over her and I could see her pleasure and almost imperceptibly her fear it turned me on far more than it should. I slid my hands over her body she shivered slightly. I crashed my lips onto hers pressing hard she opened her mouth and I slid my tongue into her mouth then out again I kissed slowly down her throat searching for her sweet spot I found it and I felt her shiver under me. I pressed my lips harder then sucked on her neck lightly she groaned and I bit down on the skin she screamed in delight and I smiled. I pulled her legs over my hips, and pressed forward hard she screamed again there was pain with the pleasure this time. This was amazing I thought as we kept going and I'll admit by the end of the night she wasn't the only one screaming.

**(this was Collette's idea NOT mine take it up with her…)**


	8. Interuption

We Don't Belong 7

Interruption

A.N. sorry it took so long to update I AM VERY BUSY. Check out my other stories PLEASE!

**Alex**

I woke up and for a moment I was confused where was- OH that's right I forced away the all too vivid images of that other world and sat up. I realized suddenly it was the first time I had ever tried to forget the other world in place of this one. I looked over at Bill who was still asleep beside me and knew he was the reason this world was suddenly so much more appealing. I got out of bed and grabbed my toiletries and an outfit for the day. I looked in the mirror and swore colorfully my hair chaotic on its best days had twisted itself into an unrecognizable shape. I realized I need conditioner if I was EVER going to get a brush through my hair. I got out and blow dried my hair I wasn't going to leave it in curls today. As such I resigned myself to straightening my hair for the next hour. About half an hour in I heard Bill get up and move around. I pulled on my short pleated black skirt my low cut long-sleeved black and white stripped shirt and a red patent-leather corset. I put on heavy black eyeliner and bright shimmer red long wear lipstick. It was my favorite lipstick it stayed on ALL day and didn't come off on anything like say your boyfriend. I picked up my red patent leather heels and carried them out with me. I sat down at the counter and fixed my nail/toenail polish. I am quite aware that I didn't have to be dressed yet but I didn't know when I would and it's just a weird habit of mine. I looked at Bill he was fully dressed but hadn't done his hair or make up; I decided it was one of the hottest things I have ever seen. I smiled I liked his hair like this. I grabbed some coffee and sat at the table next to him. There was silence for a while, it wasn't uncomfortable it's just that neither of us is a morning person.

"What's on the agenda for today?" I asked finishing my coffee and looking up at him. He grabbed his blackberry off the table and read me the list.

"There's a phone interview two hours from now, two hours after that it's a photo shoot/interview then lunch, then another interview and a fan party. You can come if you want, but also you and Collette can go somewhere together I know my fans are crazy if you're not comfortable in my spotlight you don't have to be there. I'd love to spend the whole day with you and show you off but I know that my fans are crazy and all of it the attention the hate it's mine if you don't want it you don't have to go"

"Of course I'll go, you can protect me!" I looked at him seriously "I'm not completely naive I expect your life to affect me your crazy fans too." I walked over and hugged him he held me tight.

"My fans are crazy but I owe them everything I'm glad you accept that." He smiled completely blowing my mind and my perfection sensors… again "You keep getting more perfect" he slid his hands down to my hips.

"I'm far from perfect, but I can try" I kissed him playfully.

"You are to damn alluring" he said kissing me, the kiss got deeper and deeper. He pulled me down onto his lap and pushed me over so he was kneeling over me. I twined one hand into his hair and pulled him tight against me. One of his hands trialed up my inner thigh and that's when we heard a nock on the door.

"Dammit" we said in unison. I groaned and he let me up. I fixed my hair and stalked over to the door. I through it open and Collette stood there.

"DID YOU HAVE TO?!" I asked irritably.

"Yes, Tommi said to ask you guys if you wanted to come to breakfast with us?"

"WELL now that you have interrupted my morning plans sure…"

"YES!!" She jumped happily and I shook my head.

"Hope you had fun," I glared at her, hotel walls are rather thin.

"Ohh, I did" she grinned evilly and disappeared then ran back. "See you in the lobby in fifteen minutes." I slammed the door in her face.

"We are meeting your brother and Collette in the lobby in fifteen minutes." I told Bill. He laughed.

"A little grumpy are we?"

"Yes" I pouted as he did his eyeliner. He went to grab the flat iron and I grabbed his hand and shook my head, "I like your hair, leave it please"

"Sure" he said looking surprised. I went and put my heels on. I knew that with the short skirt and the heels my legs looked great but it felt weird to be flaunting it after living so long hiding things like that trying to look my age not as much older as I could. I grabbed my phone I didn't have anything in my wallet that I needed so I left it here. We were almost to the stairs when I felt Bill's hand on my hip I looked back at him, he grinned evilly. "Did I ever tell you that you have amazing legs?" he asked I snickered.

"Nope!"

"I should have." He said and wrapped an arm around my waist as we walked down the stairs.

**Tom**

I sat down in a lobby chair and pulled Collette onto my lap. I was still unsure as to how comfortable I felt with my new found revelation about her being masochistic. This morning when we woke up she had bruises down one side from her tumble down the stairs she thought they looked cool I felt horrified. I was glad she had opted for a long-sleeve shirt and jeans. I really needed to talk to my brother but I had no idea when we would have time. I saw Bill coming walk into the lobby and had to do a double take, No Way was that Alex. But it must have been because as soon as they were close Collette stood up.

"Show off!" she complained. Alex grinned evilly.

"Yepper!" she said twirling so her skirt flew up tantalizingly high I looked away I didn't want to be looking at her. I had to admit she'd pulled the line so close to slutty it was impossible.

"How's the media?" Bill asked me.

"Terrible someone tipped them off and they went insane!"

"Shit," Bill swore, "I knew it would happen sooner or later but I was hoping for later."

"Well lets go face the wolverines!" as I spoke security appeared out of no where. They pushed the reports back as they fired questions so fast I couldn't disearn one from another. We finally made it to the car and I collapsed onto the seat Collette was next to me.

"Welcome to our world." Bill said Alex laughed.

"This is going to be fun." She said with a smirk.


	9. Interview Extravagansa

We Don't Belong 8

Interview Extravaganza

**Alex**

We made it to breakfast and back alive and without being attacked by crazy people. The phone interview was a few minutes away so Georg and Gustav had showed up to my surprise Karrot and Colista. I wondered what day it was, I never paid attention since one of my days didn't vary from the next but Karrot and Colista still had school, Collette and I having "graduated" a year or so previous. I attempted to wave that was made difficult by the fact that I was laying on my back with my head resting in Bill's lap. Karrot snickered and I flicked her off. I closed my eyes and let reality fade; I floated in my own nothingness not really thinking. All I could here was the gentle flow of words above my head the tones of Bill's voice and the deeper notes of Tom's. I could feel the warmth of Bill's skin against my cheek and the gentle wait of his hands in my hair. I was so in my own world that I jumped about a foot when the phones ringing interrupted the music of Bill's voice. I glared at the phone which was now decisively my enemy as Bill laughed and picked up the phone. I attempted to resume my previous state of non-coherence but it was to hard seeing as I felt like a science experiment because so many questions were asked about me, well Collette and I but still. Finally when the interviewer asked Bill why he thought I loved him, or if he thought I really loved him he said.

"Why don't you ask her, I'm sure she can give a better answer than I can?"

"Oh, they are there with you, I wasn't aware that they were, my apologies," she sounded more than a little flustered. "Well, Alex, why do you love Bill? Do you love Bill?"

"Of course, I love Bill," I said with a roll of my eyes which of course was totally ineffectual. "Why do I love him? That's like asking what water tastes like, it's impossible. I can tell you that he's funny, he's amazingly sweet, he's perfect, his demeanor fits mine, but that's not WHY I love him. You can't put love into the confines of words. You don't love someone because their rich or they are hot, which he is, or anything like that, love knows no bounds and I believe that. I love him because he is who he is, I can't express an emotion even with all the eloquence in the world some thing should be felt not seen."

"Wow," the interviewer said, she I was sure had been expecting some stupid moron that was like because he's rich! "That was something else, how about you Collette? Why do you love Tom, do you love him?"

"No." she burst out laughing "that was complete sarcasm in case that wasn't completely obvious. I agree with Alex, there's not much you can say to answer that question. It's a feeling, and feelings are like colors. Colors don't translate well into words, and, like colors, feelings are different for each person, even if they are labeled by the same name. I truly do believe that I love him, but I don't buy into the whole 'one true love' thing. There's just no way that only two people in this world can be totally compatible, or even then, no two people are ever truly compatible. Tom is... words can't describe him. He, too, is like a color or a feeling... but a thousand times better" once again she started laughing and I joined in.

**Bill (next interview)**

I lounged on the coach, while I was never tired of thinking or talking about Alex, answering the same questions again and again about her was frustrating because I couldn't explain the look on her face as an idea sparked, or the mischievous devil-may-care grin she had, or the tender light in her eyes as she explained some idea she had, the curiousness that was so predominate to her personality.

"Well, would you mind if we brought them out here?" the interviewer a guy this time asked.

"Not at all" Tom and I said. The stage doors opened and Alex and Collette came out Alex had slowed her steps into a casual stride, Collette walked a little faster to compensate for her shorter stride but still looked casual. I noticed that everyone looked ruptured Collette well not Alex had her own largely enigmatic appeal, and Alex she had a puzzle to her that was hidden by her devious exterior. I watched her basically enthralled I couldn't believe someone that amazing would have wasted any amount of her life in an asylum. Alex strolled over and sat down, there wasn't much room on the coach so she sat on the floor with her head against my knees. Collette sat on Tom who adjusted her to the side so he could still see out.

"Where did you guys meet?" he asked her.

"Hamburg," she said not specifying. He quirked his eyebrow but went on.

"Did you know Collette before now or did you guys meet through your boyfriends?"

"We have been friends since forever, we were always best friends we met at camp and became friends because we were more individual than the others, while all people especially nerds hold there own curiosities we had more, like these guys we were unique." I smiled as the guy deciphered her words.

"Okay… well, what type of boy friend is Bill?" he asked I raised an eyebrow this was going to be interesting.

"Perfect, of course we all have our flaws but that's what makes us perfect, he's romantic, caring, devious, possessive, protective, genial, entertaining, and no all you perverts out there I was not referring to my sex life, he's perfect for me he's fun to be around, really funny but he is also romantic and caring."

"Collette what type of boy friend is Tom?" I wondered what she would say; Alex's answer hadn't really surprised me.

"He's great," she giggled, "that's all I'm going to say about _**that**_" Alex glared at her. Tom laughed.

"The interviewer looked a little taken aback but continued with his speech.

**A.N.- hows THAT??? People REVIEW! Second one today TAKE THAT… Collette get writing or NOO UPDATES. All reviewers.. VIRTUAL SKITTLES. From the original Sexy Skittle.**


	10. Fan Party

We Don't Belong 9

Fan Party

**Tom**

Today had gone pretty well no one had tried to physically attack Collette and Alex yet. We were going into the fan party; this was the part that made me the most nervous, so many fans and so much insanity. Collette was spinning in circles ahead of me, I shook my head sometimes she was so normal then other times I really wondered what planet she was from. Delicately she jumped over the doorstep before turning around.

"Don't step on Charles" she warned.

"What" i was very confused. Alex jumped over the door step to.

"The door step" she explained. I nodded and stepped over it. I could hear the fans already screaming inside. Once we were inside I took her hand and made her look at me.

"Look, Collette, I need you to stay with your security guard, I do not want you to get killed"

"BUT"

"No, Collette, promise me or I will send you to the hotel and lock you in!"

"OKAY!" she laughed and hugged him. She slid across the tile floor her black slides had no traction so she flew into the coach and tumbled down on it. I shook my head and went after her. A waiter brought over a tray of Champaign I grabbed one but Collette declined. The security guard who was assigned to watch her followed her across the room in a slightly more conventional way; he stood off to the side trying to be as unobtrusive as possible. I looked around I saw Bill giving Alex the same talk I'd just given Collette, she wasn't listening as easily. I don't know why she was arguing with him, she was sensible and it made sense to stay in an area of safety. It wasn't until they got closer that I realized she was angry about having to wait back here while he was out with a bunch of fan girls. I laughed quietly to myself, I never figured someone like Alex to be the jealous type. Usually girls as pretty as her, didn't have the lack of confidence that led them to mistrust there boyfriends around other girls. I thought it was funny because Bill would be doing the same thing had there places been reversed. It wasn't a fight really just a disagreement. Finally Bill said something. Kissed her gently and she hung her head trailing behind him, something he said must have made sense. He passed in front of and sat on a chair opposite me. Alex sat on the arm of the chair resting her head on the top of the chair looking a little confused. I wondered what he had said.

"Things unraveling in paradise?" I asked careful to make sure Alex wouldn't hear me.

"No," he said in a conversational tone. Alex glanced down at him, realized he wasn't talking to her then looked away.

"Hey, Alex," Collette said. "How was your morning?"

"Shut up!" she snapped irritably, I wondered what Collette knew that I didn't. I shrugged they continued their conversation. Finally time came when we had to go sign autographs; I had been drinking steadily and was a little drunk. We sat at the table and listened to all the fans screaming and going crazy, I was used to it and normally it didn't bother me but today it was killing my head. This really hot girl walked up for an autograph I wondered if I could talk to her without Collette killing me. Collette was super chill but the girls I had been with before hadn't liked that very much. I decided she wouldn't mind and leaned forward I flirted with the girl she got really flustered, she blushed bright red, it was cute.

"Come on," I said tapping my finger to her cheek, "What's the blush for?" she squealed and ran off. I laughed. I turned around to see Collette staring at me, a multitude of expressions was plastered across her face, I was pretty sure none of them were good.

**Collette**

I saw Tom as he kept drinking, I was surprised I knew he liked to drink but this was insane. I attributed this fact to stress. I was watching him mostly because he'd been weaving a little as he walked. I knew he had little self control at the best of times. He was fine for a while and I thought maybe he either wasn't as drunk as I thought or had better self control than I thought. Then a red haired slut walked by he said something and she blushed furiously, he touched her face and she grinned and tumbled away, it was probably the best day of her life. I watched him, was he bored already? Was I that bad? The waiter person came around again and this time I took a drink, and the next time and the next. I kept thinking these thoughts until he came back to me. He sat down and wrapped his arm around my waist I could smell the alcohol on his breath. Which had I not been half way to wasted myself would have greatly annoyed me. As it was I reached over and set my hand on his upper thigh. He chortled and smiled.

"Well, sweetheart, I'm sorry to say I'm stuck here for the next hour."

"Are you sure about that?" I asked sliding my hand farther up his thigh.

"Yes" he said though his tone told me he wished he wasn't. I grabbed 'him' and slid myself over so I was kneeling on top of him.

"Still?" the mono syllabic question made his eyes grow hot, but he knew his job and wasn't going to forget his fans.

"Yes!" he stood up dumping me on the floor. I was more than a little disgruntled. I stood up and stalked after him as he headed toward a private corner where the fans couldn't see or hear what was about to go down.

"Sorry! For trying to have some FUN!" why was I so mad? I was not an angry person.

"I have a job, Collette, just because you can sit in a government funded facility and coast doesn't mean we all can!"

"I didn't know you saw it that way! Maybe I should have stayed there!"

"Maybe, if you're so unhappy here why don't you go back?"

"I don't know why I ever thought a whore like you might actually be capable of having human EMOTIONS!" I yelled I could see Alex staring out of the corner of my eye she was right I was a docile person why was I arguing with Tom?

"How dare you Bitch!" he yelled and slapped me **hard**. My body reeled to the side I stumbled back and onto the ground. I realized then why I was provoking him, I was trying to get him to hit me, if he was angry at me at least I was there.

A.N. – Things unraveling in paradise?? *laughs evilly* Collette I know you love it soo REVIEW! Cuz you love me and don't want me to stop writing!


	11. Frost Bite?

We Don't Belong 10

Frost Bite???

**Alex**

I woke up the day after the fan party and my nerves were tingling. Princess Alexzandria or the other girl who shared my brain space had been using magic when she lost consciousness and I could feel it in my body now, it was COLD, I had never thought about it, could I tap her magic? I struggled for a moment it was SO cold, her magic was all shadows some considered it evil but I knew it wasn't just dark, just cold, I pulled on the strings of it that were attempting to slid away and I maneuvered it out and I watched gleefully as shadows spread in an inky pool away from my hands. It fought me as I struggled to get it to do what I wanted, I was human after all unlike Alexzandria my blood wasn't power my flesh wasn't so infused with it that I was almost unbreakable, no I was just human and magic did not obey humans, not until now. I finally got it to move the bags from one end of the room and back I was so ecstatic I was shaking, but I let the magic go I started shaking harder as my mortal body felt the after effects of the icy magic. That's when Bill woke up.

"Alex, what the-" he leapt up and I looked down to realize my hands and some of my arms were coated in frost bite.

"WOA!" my teeth were chattering so my language was barley intelligible "that's new"

"What happened?" he asked jumping up and kicking into protector mode. I managed to tell him through my chattering teeth and he shook his head he believed mostly because there was no other way for me to have gotten frost bite at this time of the year. "You need to go to a hospital!"

"NO," I don't like hospitals, I spend a lot of time there I'm accident prone and have a lung disease, when I was young my dad who I practically hate was hospitalized and almost died that was when I still loved him more than a little traumatic, also I didn't want to explain what happened they would put me back into the asylum.

"Alex," he reached out his face worried the minute his hands touched my frost bitten shoulder I gasped his hand was warm the ice thawed. I slid toward him and he wrapped me up in his arms, where our skin touched the ice flowed away leaving me warm, his hands slid aver my body, tantalizing my nerves, most of my skin was thawed but I still felt cold inside, I had an idea for a very fun activity to solve that problem. I twisted so our faces were close together he kissed me and when I didn't pull back he kissed me deeper, more. We kept going I saw no reason not to.

**(Later)**

I stood up everywhere from my hips to my lower thighs hurt, mostly because I am a virgin and **that** was. Not. Gentle. Sex. I looked back at Bill who was sprawled across the bed watching me I grinned; I was slightly annoyed that the sheet was pulled up over 'him', anyway I reached over and grabbed him pulling him out of bed and after me.

"Where are we going?" he said.

"The shower" I laughed and pulled him into the shower before flipping the water on he shook his head and grinned right back at me. That was the best shower I have ever taken! I thought half an hour later as I sat freshly clothed at the counter thing in our room. I looked over my coffee cup to wear Bill was standing arguing with his brother on the phone. I caught parts of the conversation, it's not that I don't speak German it's that I was to wrapped up in my own thoughts. The magic, well the actual magic had been forced from my mind by the later 'magic'. I wondered what he would do if he ever found out about my past, that he was not only the first guy I've slept with but my first kiss, my first date, all of it. I wondered what he would do if he found out my age, well when I remembered what it was, I had forced everything out of my head when I moved into the facility. It was too hard to remember the past, I had forced it from my mind and it was all almost gone now. Even my name it wasn't really Alex, that was a nickname only used by my friends so Collette. I figured I wouldn't tell him, there were so many holes to my past the answers I could give him would make it worse not knowing the rest.

**Tom**

I woke up later than usual, my head was killing me. I groaned and rolled out of bed heading toward the bag that I kept the pain killers in. They were the fast acting kind and the pain in my head subsided almost instantly my headache was still there but no longer threatening to tear my skull apart. I realized with dread I couldn't remember any of last night but sitting down next to Collette at the beginning of the fan party. I realized I was stark naked I shook my head it had been a while since I got myself in this much trouble, I was glad I was in my own hotel room at least. I turned to face the bed, dreading what I might find there. I almost passed out in relief when I saw that it was Collette asleep on the bed not any other girl, I had just about no judgment when I was drunk I had ruined (and started) multiple relationships that way. I was relieved until I saw the large bruise spreading over the left half of her face. I walked over dreading what I might find I carefully laid my hand over the bruise, I held my breath but as I had feared the bruise lined up perfectly with my hand. What had she done to make me so mad, what had I done to make her that mad? She was laid back letting me do whatever I couldn't think what would make her mad enough to fight me, unless she was drunk in which case I could have done anything. I waited apprehensively taking a quick shower I heard her wake up and move around, she grinned at me and I breathed a sigh of relief she wasn't angry with me. She picked up a bottle of what I recognized as edible body paints I smiled I was glad to work with those. Well I was glad until she ran her hands over the bruise and said,

"Can we do that again?"


	12. Concert

We Don't Belong 11

Concert?

**A.N. – I apologize for all weirdness in this story the people at school gave me a GAINT bag of chocolate!!! LOL cuz I'm the most brilliant of the most BRILLAINT wait no that was last year I'm just the most brilliant for the second time this school year.**

**Alex**

I was nearly jumping up and down. I was going to a Tokio Hotel concert; yea I'm dating the singer but I'm still a huge fan. I pushed my curly again hair over my shoulder rubbing my anti-frizz oil into it that stuff saves! I wondered again why Bill picked **me.** I had no idea but he had and I would be damned if I lost him. I leaned forward towards the mirror as I put my makeup on. I winced as my hips hit the sink. I would feel this morning's activities all day and probably tomorrow as well but it was worth it. I got my skinny jeans on without to much trouble but they are not designed for people like me who have lots of leg muscle. I put on a long-sleeved shirt and a baggy Tokio Hotel shirt, I would be in the crowd so I had to blend in not that it was hard, I owned a ridiculous amount on Tokio Hotel merchandise. I got all my chains on and went to the bedroom and attempted to put on my converse, seeing as I did this standing up I ended up falling on my ass. Bill walked in just as I took my tumble. HE laughed and helped me up.

"You my love are far too clumsy."

"Maybe… I am maybe I just like being able to hold onto you!" I wound my arms around his neck and he laughed the sound was delicious. "Must you be so delish?" the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"I could say the same for you," he said resting his head on mine. Then there was a pounding on the door.

"Stop kissing and get out here we have sound check at the venue in 15 and the limo's here!" Tom's voice rang through the room. Bill released me then grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the room. He kept hold of me as we raced down the stairs so I wouldn't fall. We ran to the car just for the heck of it and fell inside laughing and out of breath as Tom and Collette sat down. Georg, Gustav, Andi, Allie, Colista, and Karrot where already there. I had buried my face into Bill's shoulder so the press wouldn't get a picture so now I was sitting on him.

"LOOK IT" Collette said showing me a picture on her phone of a Technicolor bruise that covered half of her face.

"Nice one..." I said thinking that she must be wearing a hell of a lot of cover up. We went to the back of the venue I wasn't surprised at the long lines in front. I did however pause inside at the chaos going on. Bill who was obviously used to it took a step then turned around not going anywhere since I was still clinging to his hand. I reached out and grabbed some Kit Kats from a bowl then followed him. HE wrapped an arm around my waist and motioned for me to be silent, so I was. I listened to the sound check. Then I opened my Kit Kats. They were the valentine's ones. I contained my laughter at the one that said 'wicked' barely. Then I opened the next one and it said 'Good Times' I lost it I pressed my hand over my mouth so I didn't make a sound but I fell onto the floor and was rolling around laughing silently. Bill looked at me with his eyebrows raised. I was infinitely glad the paparazzi were outside and the official cameras hadn't started up yet because I couldn't stop laughing. Eventually I regained my composure but sat on the stage with my head against Bills legs. He rested his hand on my head and I showed him the Kit Kat, he snickered. He handed me the backstage pass and Collette and I slipped into the crowd for the show the crowd was flooding in so we were right on time, I was annoyed at the walls that went up you know like the curtain in a play.

**Ash (random Fan with a backstage pass)**

I was so excited, it was my first TOKIO HOTEL concert and I had front row seats, why do they call them seats when you're standing? Anyway I HAD BACKSTAGE passes. The lights went off and I looked around I was shaking with apprehension. Next to me was a group of five girls and one guy who was holding the smallest girl. Who would bring their boyfriend to a Tokio Hotel concert I shrugged then looked at the guy again he **was** a nice piece of eye candy with his emo style and white blonde hair. Then the walls started to lower and I immediately turned back to the stage, I could see Bill standing on a raised plat form keeping the beat with his foot as the intro to Fur Immer Jetzt played. My heart was beating to faced, I noticed that Bill kept looking my way. I couldn't say who he was looking at just someone in my general vicinity, I hoped it was me, can't blame a girl for dreaming. Then the impossible happened he was singing 'Rette Mich' and he knelt on the edge of the stage right in front of me and the group of girls next to me. One girl stepped forward with me and the rest of the girls in the front trying to touch him. He reached out his hand but he was still to far away but SO CLOSE! I realized that he was looking just to my side to the girl next to me; she had dark hair that fell in perfect spirals, she had moon pale skin and deep green eyes, I was instantly jealous. I forgot about that as he stood up and the last song played. At the end of the concert I turned to the girl that had found Bill's attention.

"Hey," I said and she turned. "My friends won't believe I came will you take a pic. With me so I can prove I was, cuz if it's just me they'll say I photo shopped it." It was true I just picked her to remember what Bill thought was pretty for my next concert. Sure she said and posed with a rock on sign next to me. Then she took off her friends trailing behind her. I went toward the backstage area at a _slightly _sedated pace. I cracked the door open and froze watching without allowing any of them to see me. The girls had disbursed: the one that looked like a zombie had her hands all over Tom while he joked with her, two of them were sitting on the coach with Gustav and Georg and the last one the one with the pale skin, she ran over to Bill and jumped on him! I expected him to push her off or for the security guards to intervene but instead he wrapped his arms around her. They were close enough for me to hear.

"Billa, did I ever tell you how perfect you are, THAT WAS AMAZING!" He kissed her, anger boiled in me, she wouldn't be able to kiss him if she was standing on her feet and not being held by him and clinging to his chest like a spider monkey.

"Yes, Love, a hundred times" I saw the way he looked at her and my anger boiled away, I had seen that look on people's faces before he really loved her. I couldn't hate her; she was making his world better.

"That was so awesome! How could it not be, you're in it," they both laughed, "I sounded way overly obsessed there."

"Well, love, as much as I hate to say this, I have to put you down because my fans will be here anytime now." The girl or woman slid down her body sliding against his, his eyes grew hot for a moment and he whispered something in her ear that made her turn red before she took his hand and admiration replaced lust in his face.


	13. Your Entertainment

We Don't Belong 12

Your Entertainment

**Bill**

Alex was lying on the bed watching me, as I got ready for today's interview cycle. This was the first time Alex was not going with me, it felt strange, she had only been with me for a few weeks and already I depended on her. I wondered if my crazy life was getting to her, the way it had hit me when I had started. I was acclimated now to the crazy hours I kept. She slept more than I did but it still may have been getting to her.

"How long you going to be gone?" she asked, I laughed at her grammar, she was brilliant and could speak better than an 18th century poet but rarely bothered with grammar.

"Just over an hour, what are you going to do?"

"I think I'll go see Collette then jam out to some tunes for a while." I nodded I forgot that Collette was sick, a bad cold.

"Sounds like fun," I said finishing my eyeliner.

"It'd be more fun if you were here," she pouted.

"Maybe, but I have to work baby," I glanced at her, why did she have to be sitting on the bed?

"I know," she said sliding off the bed barely managing not to land on her ass. She grabbed a bottle of liquid eyeliner from the table next to her, I groaned.

"Alex, I can manage!" she shook her head.

"if you are going out you are going to be perfect," she paused, "More perfect any way."

"Aww, come on I'm perfect as is!" I said trying to play on her decision that I was perfect.

"Yes, you are but you re going to listen to me now SIT!" I sat. There was never any use in arguing with Alex. She was good with makeup, better than I was, it was just strange letting someone else do my makeup. Her hand was perfectly steady as she fixed the lines in my makeup apparently unsatisfied with either the straightness or the color quality. When she finished I stood up wrapping my arms around her waist and holding her as close to me as possible. She relaxed into my body and I rested my head on hers. I had learned quickly that if I argued with her she would quickly come to think that I was angry at her and that she wasn't doing things right. She had some insecurity problems, but don't we all. I leaned down and kissed her. I felt like I was soaking up her extra energy. "go on," she said pushing me away. "Go blow them all away, come home, and I'll make sure it's worth it."

"I'll always come back," I promised letting her go. She stuck out her tongue and I smiled and walked out. "See you in an hour!" I called.

"Goodbye Love!" she yelled after me.

Alex

I watched him go from the window, the guards his band members and his fans making him even easier to track. When I watched, his car drive off I pulled away from the window. Why was it so hard to watch him leave I wondered? It was not as if I was never going to see him again. I put my out of control hair into a ponytail leaving my bangs down, without attention from my flatiron they had curled around themselves. I slipped into some black skinny jeans and a amethyst beater. I looked at myself in the mirror that hung over the bathroom door. I ran my hands over my clothes smoothing them out. I frowned at the small bump my stomach made in the cloth. I tightened my abdominal muscles and it vanished. I flexed running my hands over my biceps; I needed to go back to a gym. I shook my head I was so strange most girls could not care less about their muscles but I'd learned I have either muscle or fat I pick muscle. I left my room and wondered down to Collette's. I let myself in with the room key I had stolen.

"Hey Alex," she called I could hear the T.V. playing psyche in the main room. I shook my head some things never change.

"Sup, Zombie Girl," I said sitting next to her and pulling out my iPod setting it to play all Tokio Hotel songs and putting one head phone in, I didn't find psyche nearly as interesting as she did. Criminal Minds is much more to my taste.

"Nothing, Tommi left so I can watch psyche."

"Ha, he doesn't like it either?" I asked.

"I don't know, I just have other things to do when he's here well that or he is watching TV."

"Please I really didn't need to know that."

"Of course you did!" She said.

"How's the face?" I asked glancing at the shadow that was all that was left of the bruise that had covered half her face.

"Fine, he won't give me another one though," she pouted and I laughed.

"That's because he was raised not to hit women as he should have been."

"But I'm asking him to!"

"You are a dork!"

"YES, I am the most awesomeazing dolt face ennapode with a legion of lemur zombies EVER!" She started to cough and I grinned.

"Yes, as always you are," we continued with our own conversation for a while. I looked at the clock it was a few minutes till Bill and Tom got back I needed to head back to my room. "Got to go, ennapode!"

"Tch, and you say I'm a dork, but bye."

"Just because I'm a dork doesn't mean you aren't" I said walking away. I got to my room and flipped through my iPod. I switched it to Adam Lambert. I didn't feel like explaining to Bill that I had all 74 songs they had created on my iPod and all of the remixes that would be slightly akward. For Your Entertainment started playing, it was one of my favorites, it was so catchy. I started to sing, and was dancing around the room in no time.

"So hot out the box  
Can we pick up the pace  
Turn it up, heat it up  
I need to be entertained  
Push the limit, are you with it, baby, don't be afraid  
Imma hurt you real good baby

Let's go, it's my show, baby, do what I say  
Don't trip off the glitz that I'm gonna display  
I told ya, Imma hold ya down until you're amazed  
Give it to ya til your screamin' my name

No escaping when I start  
Once I'm in I own your heart  
There's no way to ring the alarm  
So hold on until it's over

Oh!  
Do you know what you got into  
Can you handle what I'm 'bout to do  
'Cause it's about to get rough for you  
I'm here For Your Entertainment

Oh!  
I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet  
You thought an angel swept you off your feet  
Well I'm about to turn up the heat  
I'm here For Your Entertainment

'Sall right  
You'll be fine  
Baby I'm in control  
Take the pain  
Take the pleasure  
I'm the master of both  
Close your eyes, not your mind  
Let me into your soul  
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

No escaping when I start  
Once I'm in I own your heart  
There's no way to ring the alarm  
So hold on until it's over

Oh.  
Do you know what you got into  
Can you handle what I'm about to do  
'Cause it's about to get rough for you  
I'm here For Your Entertainment

Oh I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet  
You thought an angel swept you off your feet  
Well I'm about to turn up the heat  
I'm here For Your Entertainment

Oh  
Do you like what you see?  
Oh  
Let me entertain ya 'til you scream

Oh!  
Do you know what you got into  
Can you handle what I'm about to do  
'Cause it's about to get rough for you  
I'm here For Your Entertainment

Oh!  
I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet  
You thought an angel swept you off your feet  
But I'm about to turn up the heat  
I'm here For Your Entertainment"

I sang it. Surprising myself with my knowledge of every word. I looked down to flip it to a new song when I felt a pair of arms wrap around my body. I glanced down at Bill's perfectly manicured nails grinning.

"Can I take you up on that?" he asked. I smiled my most devilish smile and twisted around in his arms.

"Any time," I said pressing my body closer to his. His eyes were hot as they looked down into mine.

"Just one question" he said, pressing a finger to my lips, "why didn't you tell me you could sing?"

"I figured you would find out!" I said pulling his lips down to mine effectively destroying all future conversation.


	14. Kids?

We Don't Belong 13

Kids?

**Bill**

Today was my first day off in forever. Alex and I slept until one it was surprisingly early. I leaned my head on the arm of the couch I was lying on. Alex was fighting with the radio again, she was cursing at it, and it was hilarious. I sighed in another month I would be 21, legal drinking age in the U.S. but for some reason I felt older. Maybe it was because I have been working for six years professionally and a few more before that. Now I felt old not like eighty but grown up. I had a perfect job, a perfect wife, now I wanted a perfect family. I sighed. I looked at Alex her perfect face agitated I had no idea what her views on this matter were. I rubbed my fore head, when had these thoughts entered my head?

"What are you thinking about so hard?" She said sitting down on the edge of the couch.

"What do you think about children?" I asked my brain still running on one track. She paused.

"What do you mean? Be more exact please. Do I like children? Do I want children? Am I ready for children? What are you asking?"

"Do you like children?" I watched her face intently.

"Sure, I just lose patience quickly." She smiled and I looked down it was obvious she did not want to talk about this. She watched me for a moment. "You want children don't you Bill?"

"Yes," I said no point in avoiding it; it was her turn to sigh.

"Not right now," then paused something must have shown on my face, "I'm not saying no, but for right now I like having you all to myself, I don't want to share." I nodded It was the best I would get out of her. I held out my arms and she curled up against my chest I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight.

**Alex**

I slammed my hand onto the radio it was being smart and driving me insane. We had had an on going war and I was loosing. I looked over at Bill he was immersed in his own thoughts; I went over to him keeping my eyes on his face.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" I asked and he looked up at me.

"What do you think about children?" My heart dropped to my stomach, this question already.

"What do you mean?" I asked stalling. "Be more exact please. Do I like children? Do I want children? Am I ready for children? What are you asking?" my heart was racing but I hid my panic, I was good at it, I had years of practice.

"Do you like children?" he asked.

"Sure," I said not wanting to say no. I knew Bill liked children and more then probably wanted some. "Just lose patience quickly." I said not untruthfully. He sighed, "You want children don't you Bill?"

"Yes," he said unsurprisingly.

"Not right now," I said, I was not ready to be a mother. I liked having Bill all to myself. We would have kids because Bill wanted them and I couldn't keep my hands off Bill but I didn't want them now. His face was disappointed so I tried to clarify. "I'm not saying no," I said slightly pleadingly. I could not stand to see him sad. Children aren't that bad right. "But for right now I like having you all to myself, I don't want to share." He nodded still looking slightly discontented but he opened his arms and I slipped into his embrace. I felt secure against his warm body curled up in his arms.

"I love you," he murmured into my hair.

"Ich leibe dich," I said it was another part of our relationship that we spoke to each other in our opposing languages.

**Collette**

I looked at Tom where he sat on the couch playing a video game and rolled my eyes he could be so childish.

"Hey Tommi," I said and he grunted, I assumed that was an invitation to talk. "I want to go to Oxford."

"You what!" he yelled hitting pause before chucking his controller on the ground and jumping up.

"Alex and I would like t go to college because unlike you we like top learn."

"That's insane, do you want to leave me! What does Bill think about this?" I sighed, Bill didn't know because Alex wouldn't tell him because she was worried he would leave her. I wasn't dumb enough to think Tom would stay only with me for the rest of his life so I had to take care of my future.

"No Tom, I love you but I know that you have problems with monogamy so I am making sure my life is set. I can go while you are on tour. Bill doesn't know Alex is scared to tell him because she doesn't want to lose him."

"You are insane," he said, "You want to go back to school?"

"Yes, I do, I like learning," He looked at a complete loss.

"I don't think you should go!"

"Why not?" I said I knew I sounded petulant it was college I had to go.

"I want you here with me and I don't want my fans to find and eat you"

"But I want to go, come on you can go on tour and I can go to Oxford with Alex."

"Why do you want to leave me?" Lord, he was as insecure as a teenage girl was!

"I don't I want to be able to take care of myself and to make a difference in the world."

"You don't think I can take care of you!" Insecure as I said.

"It's not your ability to provide I doubt, it's your ability to stay committed, you are renowned for sleeping around. I do not expect our relationship to go any differently in the end."

"You don't think I can change," he sounded hurt.

"No, I mean yes you could change just not for me, I am not special enough."

"You are," he said and I was surprised to see the truth in his face.

"No, I am just another girl,"

"Collette, you could never be just another girl," he said and pulled me into my arms I wasn't sure how to respond. I wasn't used to compliments or to Tom being affectionate.

"I am," was all I could say, it was the truth.

"No," he said and looked down at me his face confused, "why in the world would you ever think you are average?"

"Because I am, my life means nothing in the greater scheme of things," He sighed.

"It will baby, it will,"

**A.N. - yes i know that i wrote that upper section twice but it was important you see it both ways! soo i shall write something else now.... Hmm Wellll REVIEW and keep writing if your a writer.**


	15. Chapter 15

We Don't Belong 14

Deeper and Deeper

**Alex**

I was still curled up against Bill's chest when his phone went off. I sighed it was supposed to be his day off; I really hoped it wasn't business. He looked at it and sighed relief. So not business.

"Alex let's go swimming with Tom and Collette," he said and I blanched.

"No!"

"Why not," he looked confused.

"I don't want to."

"But you said you like swimming."

"I do but I don't want to go," I was thinking how could I get him to not have us go?

"Come on, it will be fun," He pushed himself up so I was automatically pushed under him.

"Let's stay here," I twined my hands through his hair.

"No," he said pressing his lips to mine, "we are going swimming,"

"I am not!" why the hell hadn't I bought a one piece?

"Yes you are, what's the big deal." I sighed; I didn't want to deal with this? Yea Bill had seen my entire body the thing was it had been dark every single time. That meant he hadn't seen my scars. I didn't want to show them yet. I also didn't want Tom or the paparazzi to see them.

"Fine!" I jumped up I was more nervous than angry but my emotional fuses are all tangled up. I stalked toward my room digging through the bag finding my swim suit and heading toward the bathroom. I changed quickly before stepping in front of the mirror. I was frozen for a moment at the familiar sight before me. The long lines and sharp angles of the scars covering my upper abdominal area. Dark against my snow white skin. I couldn't hide them forever but I didn't think I was ready to come out yet. I couldn't hide though. He deserved to know what he had gotten himself into. He had found out I was a cutter but the extent he had not. I sighed again and forced myself to walk out of the room and into the room where he stood having changed into his swim trunks. I had my arms crossed over my lower rib cage effectively hiding 99.999999% of the scars.

"What's the big deal you look fine," from the way his eyes were not on my face I looked better than fine. I let my arms fall and his eyes widened.

"Meine Gott." He breathed his hand floating out and stopping a hairs breath away from my skin. "How did I not see?" I could tell this bothered him most.

"You were otherwise distracted and it was dark." I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see horror or rejection on his face. In that moment I really wanted to be back at the institute. There was none of this gut wrenching terror of rejection or any of it. I knew however that I could never let him go.

"I don't care," _what?_ My eyes flew open and my surprise and confusion must have showed on my face. "Alex I love you and that means all of you. I can't hate who you were because it made you who you are."

"Do I still have to go?" I still didn't want to go out. I was wishing I had slept all die. First this mornings awkward conversations about children now this, it wasn't that I cared what people thought about me, people other than Bill anyway it was just that she didn't want her past reflecting badly on Bill.

"Yes," his voice told me he wasn't going to give but I had to try.

"Please, don't make me go out there" I begged him; I couldn't tell that I was practically breaking his heart, why wouldn't he listen to me!

"Alex, it doesn't matter what people think"

"It does, Bill, your entire life is based on what other people think! Your fans could react very badly to this, please, please don't make me do this?" he sighed but didn't listen to me.

"No come on and please stop being so pathetic?"

"Nope," I decided to play childish and sat on the couch firmly not moving. He sighed.

"Why do you have to be so difficult?"

"Because I am difficult, it's what I do!"

"Fine," he tossed me one of his shirts which was sitting by his hand. I slid it on gratefully, and then yelped. He leant over and hauled me up swung over his shoulder he the deposited me outside the hotel room and closed the door behind him.

"Not cool Billa not at all." I pouted.

"Oh well," he said it sounding likes Ah Vell; it softened my attitude towards this annoying trip to the beach.

"You demon!" I said playfully.

"Learned it from you my love," he pulled me along to Tom and Collette's room where he pounded on the door.

"One second," came Tom's voice from inside.

"Okay," Collette threw open the door then giving me a quizzical look.

"You're coming?" She knew about my scars and also my attitude on showing them to the world which was what going to the pool with a celebrity was doing.

"He made me," I complained as Tom stepped out and closed the door behind him.

"How did he manage that?" Collette said honest curiosity lighting behind her eyes.

"He dumped me on my ass outside the door."

"I did no such thing," Bill said lazily as we walked towards the pool area.

"Fine, he picked me up put me outside the room, locked the door, and kept the key."

"You're a bad influence on him," Collette said grinning.

"Time was," Tom aid sounding far more learned than he actually is. "The minute you asked to stay he would have called and canceled."

"Jahhh, well, I wish he would have staid that way."

"No you don't"

"Right now I do,"

"Fine, but not usually," instead of giving this a response I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Immature!" Collette said.

"Of course," I said sitting down on the concrete by the side of the pool. I had never been in a 4 star hotel let alone a five star before I met Billa. I dug through the bag until I found sunscreen. I glared at my skin as I put it on why did I have to be so pale. Billa sat on the ground next to me waiting. Collette and Tom had already raced each other towards the water. Collette won of course.

"What's with the sunscreen?" Bill asked.

"Unlike you, some of us actually burn in the sun." He laughed as I glared at his skin. He was pale now, but I knew that by the end of summer given time in the sun he would be tan. Mostly because I remember being jealous when I saw pics of him when I was younger, seeing how tan he got, I on the other hand can burn in the winter. When I finished I looked around. I think I liked it better when I could see the photographers; I didn't like not knowing where the person with a camera was… I hate cameras; guess I chose the wrong boyfriend. I was on the verge of sitting right there when I looked at Bill. I could tell by the look on his face he would drag me over to the pool and throw me in if I resisted. So I stripped off the shirt and rolled onto my stomach then pushed myself up as he stood. I leaned into him and wrapped my arms around him.

"Your going to be fine, just remember that it doesn't matter what all these people think." He stroked my hair, speaking to my obvious discomfort. I pressed my head against his already sun warmed skin. We stood there like that for a moment before he kissed the top of mead then let me goo and tugged me toward the pool. For now I kept my arms crossed over my chest. I wandered up the diving board while Bill, Tom, and Collette watched. Collette got out of the water intent on copying me. I spread my arms out wide before pinning them over my head. Jump. Twist. Dive. I felt my body cleave through the cold water and it felt nice I turned and swam toward the surface in time to see Rachel take a dive off the high dive. No, I thought watching her; not even maybe, I am not a good enough diver to manage that without killing myself. Bill and Tom were staring, seems like they would have figured out that we have many secrets but apparently not. I swam over to Bill and dunked him. That started a water war. It was easy to forget that I had exposed one of my deepest secrets to the world.

**Authoress Note: OKAY I guess I can keep writing this but I want some REVIEWS!!!! Don't be surprised if I takes a while to get updated. It's on my long list of stories to update in my free time. HAHA what free time, the free time I get at school by being extra smart and finishing my work… Except of course when the internet is down…. GRRR. Anyway I am meandering again… PLEASE REVIEW**


	16. I Wont Let You Go

We Don't Belong 15

I Wont Let You Go

Collette

I sat in bed watching Tom as he slept. Yesterday had been so strange. We went to the pool and Alex went that amazed me. She always hid everything from the world I am assuming Bill had a great amount to do with this, she couldn't tell him no to anything.

As I sat here in bed as Tom slept my heart sped up. Why was he acting so strange? I knew the way he was with girls. He slept with them and moved on. Why was he staying with me? I felt my heart speeding up. Which was strange clinically I knew my body was reacting to fear.

What did I fear? Not commitment I felt no fear of spending the rest of my life with him. Not rejection I knew in all reality he would leave I wasn't good enough no one was good enough for this man, this god on earth. That was it I feared I didn't want to trap him. I could accept rejection but I couldn't stand the thought of him wanting me away and feeling like he couldn't get rid of me.

I could take care of that, I though stepping out of bed careful not to disturb him. He usually slept deeply but who knew. I slipped out some clothes on and dragged a brush threw my hair. I wish I could get a shower but that would definitely wake him up. I walked over to the window. I sighed as I threw it open. 10th floor, perfect.

I stepped onto the ledge and looked down at the traffic passing below. It never occurred to me that this option was the most permanent death had never scared me. In actuality it had whispered my name, called to me, sent me kisses, and lured me in. For some reason I had never listened to it. Now I was. I could almost hear death speaking, its voice echoing in my mind the way it had for so long. It was telling me promises of quiet, telling me Tom would be happier without me to constrain him.

I pulled my self up so I was standing on the edge of the building. Toes over the ledge. I looked down a the drop below me was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. I let go of the window sill and fell.

Tom

I shivered as I woke up feeling cold. I rolled over, then paused where was Collette usually I almost landed on top of her when I woke up and rolled over, was she up already? I got out of bed and pulled on the clothes that were on the floor. Her clothes were still there. That surprised me usually she picked them up, she was a minor clean freak, it annoyed her that I wore yesterday's clothes until I could get into a shower. I stepped into the main room and saw the window open.

"Collette!" I called wondering if she was in the bathroom. I walked over to the window to close it and looked down. "NO!" I yelled I would see her down there in a tree, eight stories down. She was covered in red was it blood?

I stepped out onto the fire escape that attached to the next window over. I followed it down. People were staring no surprise a half naked man running down a fire escape holding his pants up with one hand would make me look too. I called 911 on my way down and told them were I was and what had happened.

I stepped onto the tree which was a beast. The tree stood two stories high. I climbed it which was more difficult in these clothes than it had been when I was younger. I finally made it to where Collette had landed at the top of the tree. I was glad for the tree's small branches here since she hadn't been skewered. I reached out. I saw with a flood of relief that the red covering her was cherry guts it was a cherry tree we were both perched in.

I reached out and set my hand in the air just above her mouthy I could feel a gentle breeze, she was breathing she was ALIVE thank heaven! I felt so strange I mean I always would have cared to watch anyone fall out a window onto a tree but this gut wrenching terror was a feeling I associated with Bill, my family, and my friends, the people I loved, oh Sheisse, could I love her?

The thought both terrified and thrilled me. This was bill's area of expertise not mine. He was the one who wanted love not me I just wanted to have a good time,. I mean if I had found love I was glad it would be nice to not be alone so much maybe even nice to always have one person not my twin who could listen to everything but I didn't know this was all too much. I pulled Collette into my arms and made my way back to the fire escape making it to the ground as emergency services arrived.

Bill was the one who wanted love the one, I thought it true, who deserved love I never went looking for it. Bill had longed for it and searched for it, but I thought about the way he looked at Alex for all her being a cutter which was something he had long ago denounced and the way she looked back at him. 'Good' I thought now were both screwed, 'But' I thought 'his virgin ass could use some screwing'. My contempt for my brother's chastity wasn't exactly a secret. I handed her to the paramedic and watched as they strapped her onto a gurney. One woman looked at me.

"You're Tom Kaulitz, right?" she asked my heart thudded not a fan not now!

"Yes," my voice was apprehensive.

"Well mister Kauiltz I advice you come with us don't want the press after you,"

"No," I said and gratefully sat next to Collette in the ambulance, praying all the while, which was not my most common past time. 'Please wake up' was all I could think.

Alex

I stepped out of the hotel room. My hood pulled up and sun glasses on. It was probably safe to go out but Bill had some crazy ass fans. It was noon and I yawned as I walked why the hell was I up already? I stopped at the magazine stand by the front doors. My heart sunk as I saw Bill and I plastered across more covered than I knew there were magazines that involved Tokio Hotel. I had forgotten again how big they were here in Germany.

"OH MY GOD!" yelled a voice behind me causing me to freeze.

"I know," came a second voice and I picked up a magazine and looked subtly in the direction of the voices my stomach dropped when I saw the magazine one girl was waving in the others face.

"Why would he date someone like her!" cried the one girl hugging her friend it seriously looked like she was about to start crying.

"I know, Bill could have anyone why pick a cutter freak? I mean she's kind of pretty but really?" she was hugging her friend back.

"She needs to die!"

"I don't know," I said they looked at me my Tokio Hotel hoodie making me look like another one of Tokio Hotels crazy fans. "if he's happy does it matter?"

"Well if he was, but he wont stay that way I bet she's using him!" She sounds like I did, I sighed and my phone went off.

"That's a point if you'll excuse me," I said looking at the text.

'_She just woke up.'_

_ 'what?!?!?!' _ I sent back what the hell was Tom talking about?


	17. You Jumped?

**We Don't Belong 16**

You Jumped?

I ran up the stairs my heart racing. Why did she jump? I knew Tom thought she fell but I knew her better than he did. I knew there had been a time when we both would have jumped, gladly but things were different now.

"Bill!" I yelled as soon as I was in the room.

"What?!" his voice resonated from the bathroom.

"Collette's in the hospital!"

"WHAT!" he appeared in the bedroom door way.

"She fell out of the window!"

"Ouch," he muttered.

"She just woke up apparently she's been out all day. Tom said he texted you this morning but it must have been while we were asleep."

"Okay we can go as soon as I find some clothes," I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing. He rolled his eyes. Him in his boxers nothing new, him saying he needed clothes was just funny.

"Here," I threw black and red fade skinnys and a black tee with some random saying on it at him. He tugged them on as I grabbed sun glasses his keys and a hoodie then set them on the table. If I didn't get him moving we would be here all day. He pulled the hoodie on as he stepped out the door shutting it and putting on his sunglasses. He slipped his keys into his pocket then reached out to hold onto my hand. I made sure we stayed away from the Tokio Hotel fans in the foyer. We walked to the car and jumped in.

"What was she doing?"

"What?"

"Collette, she fell out a window."

"Yea, no one knows it's Collette, clumsy like me, ya know?" Okay so not the best sentence grammatically.

"Yes," he said laughing. I stuck my tongue out at him. When we got to the hospital I paused outside. I had spent more time than I would ever care to admit at them. I really didn't like them much. However Collette was in there, I sighed, and went through the door. I got her room number which luckily was close. It would not have been fun to play find the room in the warren that hospitals always are.

"Hey Collette," Bill said I just stood there silently watching her.

"Hi'ya Bill… Alex." No one but me noticed her pause.

"Tom, can I have a moment alone with my friend please?"  
"Of course," he said probably assuming the paleness in my face was fear not anger.  
"I think we have an interview to get to while Alex talks to Collette," Bill said towing Tom away.  
"You're pissed!" Collette said.

"I am," she knew me well by now.  
"No surprise," she sighed looking down.  
"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?" I practically yelled.  
"He's going to be trapped," she looked at the sheets; she wasn't actually scared of me just nervous I think.  
"You are an idiot,"  
"So!" I slapped her.  
"I don't care what your problem is I LIKE IT HERE! I'm tired of people casting us out I know you don't give a shit if the world hates you I'm not so lucky you know that HOW COULD YOU DO THAT!" To my own horror I felt tears in my eyes. Damn. I thought I had gotten over all this emotional shit. I knew I shouldn't care what people thought, it shouldn't matter but no matter what I told my self they always ended up hurting me.  
"I'm sorry," her voice was soft. It wasn't my anger she was scared of I realized. It was the depression we had almost linked minds and when one of us felt something we both did. She knew I was breaking down before I did.  
"Damn it," I muttered. "You are not ever going to do this while you are with Tom. You really are stupid sometimes. If he doesn't want you any more he will tell you! You should know that you've seen it all the time with the girls he uses. Did you ever think he wants to be trapped with you? That maybe he's found love?"  
"He can't love me," she whispered.  
"Why not?"  
"No one could love me!"  
"Here we go!" I threw my hands in the air this everyone hates me emo stuff was my gig not hers. "First I love you, like a sister, but its still love. If I love you he can love you. Second, being emo is my thing and third I repeat YOU ARE STUPID!" Okay so I'm a tough love kind of friend. I can't mollycoddle her though she needs the truth and mollycoddling puts space in a relationship hiding things hurts people more than the truth.  
"Your right, I guess."  
"Of course I am," I rolled my eyes my humor sort of returning but more as a must save self reaction. "I always am."  
"Of course you are."  
"You know it!" There was a moment of silence and she started to hum. I recognized the tune. I should I wrote it.

"My life was streamlined

On track to success

Now I'm a failure

An embarrassment at best

I'm all alone

Stumbling and falling

No one's around

To hear me calling

"Street lights flicker

As I walk by

The world turned against me

Watching me die

I had the right track

And I was strong

What did I do

To make it go wrong

"My train went flying

Right off the tracks

On that day

My world turned black

If only I

Could remember the crash

Maybe then

I could go back

"Street lights flicker

As I walk by

The world turned against me

Watching me die

I had the right track

And I was strong

What did I do

To make it go wrong

"If I could return

I'd fix what I am

Now that I know

About my life damned

Maybe then

You would love me

I'd be enough

And you would see

"Street lights flicker

As I walk by

The world turned against me

Watching me die

I had the right track

And I was strong

What did I do

To make it go wrong

"I need to leave

But can't get up

To leave I am

Not strong enough

I'm chained right here

Can't see past the tears

Or think past the pain

And hide all my fears

"Street lights flicker

As I walk by

The world turned against me

Watching me die

I had the right track

And I was strong

What did I do

To make it go wrong

"I'm a silent ghost

A willing slave

By only you

I can be saved

You hold my heart

Inside your hands

It slips and breaks

No one understands

You close the door

Leave me outside

I fall to my knees

And start to cry

My life washed away

Like sand on a beach

Everything I had

Is out of my reach

"Street lights flicker

As I walk by

The world turned against me

Watching me die

I had the right track

And I was strong

What did I do

To make it go wrong

"I climbed too high

And fell so far

I'm all alone

Here in the dark

Shattered glass

Is all around

My broken dreams

Fall to the ground

"Street lights flicker

As I walk by

The world turned against me

Watching me die

I had the right track

And I was strong

What did I do

To make it go wrong

"I get up and walk

Stumbling and falling

Failing again

From behind you I'm calling

I'm stuck walking

In your tracks

Please don't walk

Away so fast

"Street lights flicker

As I walk by

The world turned against me

Watching me die

I had the right track

And I was strong

What did I do

To make it go wrong

"I want only

To be with you

I'm trying to catch up

But my steps are few

You walk too fast

I can't make up the ground

You'd see me if

You'd just turn around

"Street lights flicker

As I walk by

The world turned against me

Watching me die

I had the right track

And I was strong

What did I do

To make it go wrong

"I'm blind

Be my eyes

I'd trust you

As my guide

I am broken

Be my glue

I'd be whole

When with you

You're all I want

Come and hold me

And you don't see

That you need me"

I sung it. I had to it was one of my own favorites. We sung several other songs I had written. The reminder of the days I had gone through brought tears to my eyes and pain to my heart. It was nothing compared to the crushing weight it had been when I ran from it but it still hurt. After years of trying to forget it all it had come around and slapped me in the face. We sung Right to Wrong the first one we had sung again when I heard a sound behind me. I spun my heart almost stopped when I saw Bill there. I turned bright red. Tom who was leaning next to Bill completely unnoticed by me of course spoke.

"Don't stop."

"What?" Collette looked at him confused.

"The music, it was really good. I never knew you two could sing like that," Bill answered or him.

"We can't the lyrics make themselves sound better," I said.

"Keep telling yourself that," Tom said wondering over to Collette. "How are you felling?"

"Fine," he was about to open his mouth to say something more but she stopped him with one word, "really."

"Alex," Bills voice was light in my ear he obviously was trying not to disturb Collette and Tom. "Let's go." I nodded and followed him out the door.

"Who wrote that song it was amazing?"

"I did," I looked at the floor and he wrapped his arms around me holding me tightly to him.

"Who's it about?"

"You," my voice was barely audible but he heard me.

"Did I mean so much to you," he asked his voice gentle like he was afraid to scare me away.

"Yes," I murmured staring at his chest. He used his fingers to make me look up at him. The minute he did so he saw that my eyes were still filled with tears.

"Love, don't be sad that was the past, I'm here now, it's all going to be alright," she ran his hand along the side of my face gently.

"I know it's just hard to deal with it, even just an echo of a memory." I could see in his face how badly he wanted to ask me what had happened how much he wanted to know what my hell was. He wanted to make it go away but he had to know what it was first. He did see however that I wouldn't, couldn't tell him. Remembering that would turn me back into whom I was a person I never wanted to be Again.


	18. 2 for 1

We Don't Belong 17

2 for 1

**Alex**

I left the hospital. Bill had remembered something Tom needed to know. The hotel was really close to the hospital. Now that I knew where the hospital was I decided to walk back to the hotel. I didn't have the rigorous activity that I had had at the facility and was starting to notice a small bulge in my stomach not even noticeable for normal people but I was used to having a perfectly flat, toned stomach. Suddenly my brain caught up with me and I realized that there might be more than one reason why I was gaining weight. I stopped at the drug store in between the hotel and bought a pregnancy test. I used their bathroom I didn't want it to come out negative and throw it in the trash and have to explain the whole mess to Bill. Please be negative I thought as I looked at it. My heart stopped. Positive. The world spun around me for a moment, I wasn't ready for this. I walked out of the store wondering what I was going to tell Bill, he was going to be so happy. I was terrified. I walked between to business buildings not exactly a dark alley but not a main street either.

"Hey bitch!" some girl yelled. 'Great' I thought 'just what I need'.

"Are you talking to me?" I looked at a girl who was standing at the front of a group of other girls.

"Who else?"

"Your fat self maybe?"

"See now that's not a smart thing to say!"

"Well it's not been the bet day for me, what do you want?"

"I want you to leave Bill Kaulitz alone!"

"You want me to what?" I was so surprised I actually meant the question.

"You know your boyfriend, you need to leave him, you aren't good enough for him!"

"I know that, I'm just waiting for him to realize it," it was honest.

"Well maybe we'll help him along a little bit wont we girls?" most of the girls nodded but I saw that two of the girls in the back really looked like they didn't want to be there.

"I don't think it's necessary," I said looking at the two who were watching me with apology. I put my hand over the small bulge in my stomach. I hoped the girls in the back got was I trying to say. One girl looked like she was getting there.

"I think it is!" the leader said.

"You know your hurting more than just me by doing this right?" the girl in the back who had partially understood my first action's eyes went wide as she looked from me to where my hand was still over my stomach.

"Yea like who? You said yourself Bill will realize you aren't good enough he see's you all black and blue and he will leave!"

"Would he abandon his family?" the girl was whispering frantically to her companion who didn't look thrilled about being there both were now throwing me furtive looks and obviously planning something.

"You aren't his family! Your just some girl who he thinks loves him!"

"Oh but I do love him, more than my own life!"

"Than why are you complaining here? We are helping Bill shouldn't you agree with us?"

"Yes, but it's not my life I'm scared for!"

"You can't kill any of us!" the girl sneered. "I'm done talking!" With those word the first of the girls came forward attempting to hit me. I dodged them easily. Then a few more came forward. They kept swinging all I did was avoid the worst and get as many injured as possible. Someone wrapped an arm around my neck from behind. I fell coughing onto the ground. I curled into a ball. There was no way I could get up and fight coughing like this. They kept kicking me while I was on the ground.

"Oh God my baby!" it was all I could think, I didn't really know if I wanted the child but it didn't deserve to die, I wasn't sure whether I said that out loud or not the world was starting to fuzz in. I was scared I knew that if I was this injured there was a probability I wouldn't survive and even if I did what were the chances my child would?

"MOVE!" Suddenly a new voice came through and I saw the large girl who had been disapproving throwing people out of her way. She picked me up off the ground and ran to the car that her small companion was starting up. She set me in the back set and jumped in the front. The driver opened her window.

"I hope you know you may have just killed Bill's first child!" She yelled as they drove all the girls went pale, "As for me I'm done with your gang!" the other girl was calling the hospital.

"Hello, my name is Celia, me and my friend stopped a beating and the girl they were beating is believed to be pregnant," the person on the other phone spoke.

"A few blocks away we are in the car… Yes… Alex, her name is Alex right?" I nodded slightly.

"Alex how pregnant are you?" asked the girl driving.

"Don't know," I muttered it was quiet but was all I could manage.

"When did you find out?"

"Today."

"Does Bill know?" I shook my head and the girl spoke to the nurse at the hospital (I assumed).

"I don't know her age she say's she just found out she's pregnant today and that the father doesn't know… yes were pulling into the hospital now. I felt the car stop and I gave up any attempt to form a coherent thought as I was picked up and placed onto a gurney.

**Bill**

Alex wanted some alone time I could tell so I told her I had to tell Tom something. I waited till she was gone then got the car and drove to the hotel. I flipped on the T.V. and settled into wait for the next ten minutes. I began to worry as ten minutes passed, then twenty, half an hour had passed when the phone rang. I lunged for it recognizing Alex's ring tone answering it in record time.

"Hello, Alex?"

"Sir, My name is Doctor Brigit," a crisp female voice came through the phone, "your number was found under the emergency contact's of my patients phone."

"Oh God, Doctor, please what's going on?"

"Sir, I know this is strange but we have people who take advantage of these situations could you describe the girl you know as Alex?"

"Of course," the question didn't surprise me they needed to be sure I wasn't some random person who's girlfriend got there phone stolen or something. "Alex, 5 ft 8in tall, curly mahogany hair, she was wearing a Tokio Hotel hoodie and skinny jeans this morning."

"Okay that's our girl, can you come down to the hospital room number 483 please?"

"Of course!" I was slightly surprised at the room number but I needed to find out what was going on. I ran to my car as I texted Tom.

_Tom Alex is in the hospital! I don't know what happened, I'll see you in a little bit!_

Hope it's nothing major!

**Doctor Brigit**

I looked at the patient on the bed in front of me. I still had no idea how old she was. I was glad she had someone who knew her and cared. So often I got street urchins no one cared for. I was done stabilizing her. I was jumpy though I couldn't move Alex even to get the testing needed to find out if her baby was alive. I was upset at the prospect of telling this girl's family what had happened part of me hoped it was her brother and not her boy friend who had answered the phone but I knew that wasn't likely. I really didn't want to have to tell the man that he may loose his girlfriend and the child he didn't know he was going to have. I did however need his permission to get the girl to testing she could be permanently injured when we moved her but her baby could die if we didn't.

"Hello doctor Brigit?" came a voice from the door I whirled.

"Yes that's me, you are?"

"I'm her boyfriend!" I could tell by the horror and paleness of the man's face as he watched her that it was true.

"Sir, I'm sorry to break the news to you this way but ui have a question that needs to be answered?"

"Yes?"

"Alex, here she was… is pregnant,"

"Oh hell," the man swayed.

"We need to take her to testing to see if the baby is alive or if there is something we have to do to save it. The problem is if we move her for the testing we could do some permanent damage to her, it's your call."

"Move her," I was surprised he was so sure.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, you don't know her if she finds out I risked her baby's life for a chance she might be injured she would kill me!"

"Okay Sir, I'll call the technicians but you have to stay here." The man nodded walking over to his girlfriend as I called the techs.

"Alex, please wake up, I can't live without you here," I tried to ignore the words he spoke to her but I heard them any way. He kept talking to her, it was normal until the technicians came to take her away. Then he sunk into a chair and rested his head in his hands, then he raised his head pulled out a note book and started to write. I wanted to say something to comfort him and alleviate the suffering I could see on his face but I didn't want to give him false hope.

**A.N. what'ya think? REVIEW!!!! What about her child????????? YES NO tell me what you think the more reviews the better the ending to the next chap!!!!!!**


	19. Loss Before sadness

**We Don't Belong 17**

Loss before sorrow

_Authoress note: Well there were no reviews on the last chapter..... SOOOOO I get to do what I want._

Bill

I sat in the hospital room for what felt like years. My brain was whirring and as always when turmoil hit my life music came into my mind. I wrote two full songs and I was half way through the third when the world caught up with me. Alex, I might loose Alex. That thought scared me more than I knew was possible. I also felt responsible, she had been safe where she was and she had left come into my world and now she was in the hospital and there wasn't anything I could do to fix it. She was pregnant, I wanted so badly to be happy to realize that I was going to be a father wish I had just taken her home, and then we would have found out, she would be safe, the baby would be safe, none of this would be happening. What if the child died? The thought hurt. I wanted to be a father I wanted her to survive the child to survive for all of this to turn out well but I knew that wasn't how this world worked. Just then the doctor walked in. I jumped to my feet. Not the smartest idea. My legs almost gave out from under me. I managed to stay on my feet however.

"What is it?" I asked the doctor. I was surprised that my voice was unwavering, unshaken.

"It's better than we expected," she looked grim however. My knees went weak with relief.

"Better?"

"Alex is perfectly fine, she should sleep for a while but we found no permanent damage. That's the best news," I sighed that was good. But the end of the sentence scared me. "She was going to have twins," the 'was' struck me hard.

"Was?"

"She might still..."

Tom

I sat next to Collette's bed she was awake and bored. I talked with her. I didn't want to tell her Alex was in the hospital until I knew more about what was going on. It could be minimal, she could have fallen broken something, but at the same time I knew it could be bad, she could be dying. I wasn't really sure what my opinion on the girl was but I didn't need the stress of her death in my life. I really didn't want her to be seriously hurt. This whole deal with Collette had scared me. I had never found someone who made me feel the way she did. I'm not trying to sound like Bill with the whole one true love thing but I really did feel something different for her.

"Where's Alex?" Collette asked suddenly.

"What?"

"She said she would be back by now!"

"Well she's in the hospital..."

"Did she text you?"

"No, Collette I mean, she has been admitted to the hospital," I looked into her eyes they flashed with worry.

"What happened?"

"I don't know?

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I have no idea what's going on, it might be nothing, I didn't want to worry you!"

"True," I was glad she was reasonable, "knowing Alex she probably fell down the stairs."

"How do you feel?"

"I feel great!"

"Really?"

"Yes, does it bother you?"

"Does what bother me?"

"That I like being hurt?"

"A little it's strange but there's nothing I can do about it so..."

"I appreciate that!"

"Appreciate what?"

"You not trying to change me almost everyone does. Alex is the only one who understands, people think you have issues when you think about serial killers and blood and such, Alex understands yet so many find it wrong," She looked at me her Technicolor eyes that melted my heart.

"Well perhaps its different people are usually afraid of what's different?"

"Yes, Tommi?" her voice sounded so much more innocent and scared than her usual put together logic.

"What zombie?"

"Do you really think Alex is okay?"

"I have no idea, baby, no idea," I wanted to give her a hug but that wasn't possible seeing as she was completely surrounded by tubes and such so I kissed her cheek. "I'll tell you as soon as I know."

Alex

The world was spinning around me. I could here voices but I was still in blackness. I was scared to open my eyes. I was scared of what I would see, hear, what they would tell me. Did Bill think I was a failure that I had endangered his child? Did he even know? Had anyone bothered to tell him? I felt the bed I was on moving. Where were they taking me? I struggled to understand the voices around me. Suddenly I heard the familiar cadence and accent of Bill's voice. He sounded worried. I forced my eyes open. I needed to see him.

"Alex!" he turned the minute my eyes were open.

"Yes Love?"

"How do you feel?"

"Fine!" I knew he didn't believe me but I could use the pain as an escape for all my mental terror so it wasn't really bothering me. I felt strange hiding how scared I was from Bill, I had never hidden from him before.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive!" I smiled at him and he smiled back, relief filled his features and it was like the sun coming out. Then he glanced down at my stomach and that smile faded.

"Did they tell you?" he asked me. I felt my blood turn cold. That never boded well.

"No, this is the first time I've been awake as far as I'm concerned since I was attacked. What is it?" his face was scared.

"You were supposed to have twins," the past tense phrase made my heart speed.

"And?"

"One of the babies is fine they don't know if the other one will make it, they don't think so, but you have to stay in the hospital for a while," he looked so sad that it hurt more than my own pain.

"I'm sorry," I held out my arms and he curled up next to me carefully holding me against him.

"Don't be none of this is your fault," I wanted to argue but I knew it would do neither of us good. All I wanted to know was whether or not both of my children would survive. '_My children'_ the term felt so strange and yet so true.


	20. Not strong enough

**We Don't Belong 19**

Not strong enough

Bill

It was nerve racking sitting and waiting while Alex was in testing. Two day's Alex had been in the hospital I had found a new manager in the hours sitting next to Alex, usually while she was asleep. The legalities were being finalized. I might have an interview tomorrow I needed to talk to the public after such a big problem. The doctors thought that both of my children might survive. They weren't sure but they had both survived a night and a day even the one they thought was pretty much dead. I hoped to heaven and hell and beyond that, they would both make it. Today would determine the survival they had told me. If they made it threw today they would most probably make it full term.

Collette

I had been discharged from the hospital the day I had been admitted despite my plunge I had barely been hurt. The combination of many ledges and a tree had made my fall soft, not the suicide plunge I had intended it to be. Now I was going to see Alex. I hadn't been able to see her before. I had been busy convincing Tom I was fine and he could let me leave the house. I wasn't a hundred percent sure what was happening with Alex, I knew she had been attacked but that was about it. I was nervous, I didn't know why I knew she wasn't dying but I didn't know what to expect. What I saw wasn't it. Partially because I had pretty much forgotten about Bill being there and partially because I didn't know the biggest part of the picture. When I walked into the room I saw Alex sitting up her face was pale but not much more than usual. Bill stood in front of her. Both of them had a hand resting on her stomach. Even that wasn't the strangest thing about the scene. The strangest thing was that Alex was crying. _Alex doesn't cry _that was my only thought. Alex never cried she was strong, no she wasn't strong she was good at hiding things, it didn't matter ALEX DIDN'T CRY!

"Alex?" I knew my voice was unsteady. I felt like my world had turned upside down. Things don't happen this way they just don't.

"Oh, hi, Collette," Bill stepped away from Alex to her side holding her hand. He had been crying too. What was going on?

"Alex what's wrong?"

"Yea, Bill, what is going on?" I looked at Tom he looked sad, I wondered if it hurt him more to see his twin distressed than it hurt me to see Alex so sad.

"Well…" Bill's words trailed off as if he couldn't bring himself to say it. it reminded me of when my uncle had died, no one had wanted to say it as if it wasn't real until it had been spoken.

"No, you didn't?" Tom asked his voice was soft. I felt so lost.

"What's going on?"

"Collette, I didn't tell you I'm pregnant," Alex looked at the sheets.

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Yes, well…"

Alex

I was lying on my back in the stupid machine for what felt like the hundredth time. I was really tired of tests. I had been in hospital's a lot and I didn't really like them. They don't scare me or anything just bore me. I guess it's strange I had no problem being an experiment at the institute and now when it might actually do me some good I hated it. My brain was so strange sometimes. I sighed and let them wheel me out again. I was sick and tired of sitting still but they had told me that the less abdominal motion I had the better. I sat there pretending I was in a different place while I went through tests for the next hour. Not entirely different. I still had Bill but I wasn't pregnant, wasn't in the hospital, and I was pretty. Wait I should rephrase that I wasn't prettier because if Bill chose me I am not changing my looks. Maybe more self confidant with less self hate? I think I was back to the social butterfly with a smile I had been when I was young. I pulled myself out of that world when they wheeled me back to my room and Bill appeared.

"The doctor will be with you shortly," the nurse said before walking away. I groaned. How many times had I heard that in the last few days? Way to many.

"How'd it go?" Bill asked I rolled my eyes.

"The same way it was the last time and the time before that!"

"Some one is bored!"

"And that someone is me!"

"Good morning you two," the doctor was here. Doctor Brigit was a good person she felt for the couple. Alex was just glad she didn't know how old she was. How old was she anyway? Alex thought hard. She couldn't remember. Oh well it didn't matter.

"HI!" I grinned I randomly felt hyper. I didn't know how thoroughly that was about to end.

"I just got the test's and they don't look as good as we were hoping yesterday," she looked sad like she actually cared. Maybe she did?

"I haven't finished looking at them so don't freak out!"

"Okay," well what was she doing here I was about to ask when she started talking again.

"I have them here, I wanted to tell you immediately if something bad has happened and unless I am actively in here, they will drag me off to work somewhere else. She looked down at the images and data reports in front of her. Her face grew more and more solemn. That never boded well. "Damn," I pretended not to hear her I didn't want to get her in trouble, "I'm sorry guys," there were real tears in her eyes, "you lost one of the twins." I felt like my soul ripped in two. I looked at Bill. He looked like he felt worse than I did. Why did this always happen to me?

* * *

Authoress NOTE

Only one more chap

DON'T WORRY

I'll start a new one

If u want something creepy or strange

Look at sociopaths

WHICH COLLETTE NEEDS TO TYPE

Other than that 

READ ALL MY STUFF


	21. Epilogue

We Don't Belong

Epilogue

(15 years later)

Collette and Tom sat in the dining room of the mansion they shared with Bill, Alex, and their family. While Collette and Tom weren't married (Collette not wanting to trap Tom) and had no kids, Alex and Bill had gone in a totally different direction. After Alex had there first child a girl named Seraphina (14) Alex had: twin boys Tessenzander and Alexzander (Zander and Alex) (10), A girl named Jesse (5), and finally another set of twins Zaire and Zaine (2). Alex had discovered after her first child that she liked children even though previously she had not. Bill was happy to have the family he dreamed of and Collette and Tom had more than enough time with children dealing with Alex and Bill's children. Right now all of them were in the family room goofing off. All of the children had inherited there parents musical talents and their mother's brain, right now they were all singing stupid little songs making fun of popular songs. Well except for the two year olds who wear laughing hysterically being chased around by both Seraphina and their mother. Bill managed his career as a singer well. He tried not to travel to much he loved his family and obviously Alex couldn't handle all the children even with Collette's help. Alex had never seen herself this way but this is how it was and no one would ever think to change it.

*(/=-_^!^_-=\)*

Authoress note look up

ITS PRETTY

Okay I apologize for the crappy epilogue

I MUST START MY NEW STORY

(I don't like children)

ALL done

BYE-BYE

READ MY OTHER STUFF

Try my fictionpress account

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My screen name there is

Ima Sexy Skittle

OH yea I'm serious….


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